#Kun Plays Pokemon Crystal

Drive up to the WcDonalds and lace an order for a WcDonalds WcHot Dog

Get some more hobby horses so yours will have a herd and not be lonely.

You realize the police officer referred to you as "Mx." Which is good. That's the proper title you should be referred to, as your gender is free money, not male or female. I mean come on. But...hm. You think that your hobby horse might be looking a bit droopy? That's to be expected, since, y'know, curry, but it almost seems... sad.

You know what would cheer it up! Some friends! You craft a hobby horse-scooter for Elluka, and one for Cut Man too, because he's still here even if he's been a bit quiet. Is he okay?

You pull Cut Man aside, and ask if anything's on his mind.

Cut Man: "It's just... I can't help but wonder if any of the other Robot Masters could be saved. Yes, they're evil right now, but we could try to reason with them; help them see that there is a nobler destiny they could have!"

He throws up his arms in frustration. And he does have a point. Other than Cut Man, you've attacked first, asked questions later when it came to Robot Masters. And usually, this has ended in death, or at least deactivation. Maybe there's another way to "fight" the robot masters... something like...

You ask Cut Man if he'll help you prototype a less violent way to deal with the other Robot Masters, and he agrees. Great! Now you just need somewhere to sit for a time... That freezer looks fine. You're both robots, so you won't get cold, and Cut Man can see how cool you are! ...Elluka might have to wait outside though. She'll be fine. She's probably been locked out of buildings before. Probably.

---

It takes five hours in all to perfect the art of playing Smash Bros Ultimate well enough not to lose immediately while having deep ethical conversations about the nature of sentient beings and why to be noble is worth it, as well as various other ethical dilemmas pertaining to the interests of robots.

Dang, all that ethics talk made you hungry. You unlock the refrigerator, hold the door for Cut Man, and look around for food. Ah! A WcDonalds! You drive your hobby horse-scooter up to the drive through window and ask for a WcDog.

Underpaid Fast Food Retail Worker: "Sir...Ma'am...uhh...? We don't have those- that's a special promotion in Kanto only."

Oh no they didn't. You're not mad about the promotion being only in Kanto, you've wanted to vacation there for a while, but no one calls you by a gendered title and gets away with it. Thinking quickly, you craft a curry megaphone, and yell out to the town that the proper way to address you is 'Mx.', pronounced like "mix", and if ANYONE tries to stop you from being called by your proper title, even in their head, they will suffer a defeat at Sudoku 99, the multiplayer Sudoku battle royale game.

...oh dear. You guess more of the town had gendered you in their heads than you thought. There's a line. Well, you guess while you sort that out, you can decide what to do now that you're in the city proper.

See if there’s any Robot Masters in the line and punch them nonviolently.

Cheat at Sudoku by filling all the squares with 8’s and still winning

Let’s go to the gym, sounds like fun, what city are we even in rn tbh

You think you’re in….Violent City? There sure does seem to be a lot of MORTAL KOMBAT! happening.

…..on stilts. With magical girls and Spider-Man and wooden prop swords/axes/knives? ….You’re pretty sure that isn’t how Mortal Kombat is supposed to go, even though the narration (which is back to normal, thank gods) swears otherwise.

...Huh. You’ve never questioned this. Why did the narration change? Where did the new narration come from? Where did it go? Where did it come from-

Elluka: …..Are you okay? You’ve been spacing out staring at those stilt walkers for ten minutes. Whatever improv game they’re playing can’t be that interesting.

Improv game? That’s an IMPROV GAME?! These people need to learn how to draw the line between improv game and dress rehearsal. This is an outrage! Why you oughta just--

Oh hey, the gym. You were going to fight people there anyways, you may as well just fight people there! Maybe it’ll get rid of this itch you’ve got to just get out there and punch someone. Huh, maybe there’s an upgrade to punch better you could get. That’d be fun! AND totally worth it! Maybe, if you do well enough with it, Kirby’s mech could use i-

…Dang. The 3DS isn’t going to have any more DLC. Nevermind… You still totally want the powerup though!

You make a dazzling argument for your inclusion into the Super Smash Bros. franchise on your way over to the gym, prepping to fight…. whoever is in charge there, only to be met with…..

One of those guys who gives you advice.

OotGwGYA: Hey! I’m no trainer, but I can give you advice!


...what did you just think.

OotGwGYA: Believe me! If you believe, then a championship dream can come true. You believe? Then listen. The grass type is weak against the flying type. Keep that in mind.

You don’t have any grass types, but you may as well remember that for later you GUESS. You waltz very gracefully onwards, only to be met with….

A dude with a mohawk, carrying a bird cage.

Bird guy: Let me see if you’re good enough to face Falkner!


You are challenged by Bird Keeper Abe!

Bird Keeper Abe sent out Spearow!



Is this guy even worth your time, honestly? Meh. Honestly you’re kinda in the mood to fight, but you don’t want to fight this guy. So, you decide to wait, and see if a flash of inspiration comes to you from afar as to how to skip this battle, or curbstomp the dude.

(What will you do?)

First, check to see if there’s any other bird trainers here. Then, use your amazing powers of emulating other powers and tank-style aggro all of them into sending their bird pokemon out against you. And *then* tie all the bird pokemon to all the bird pokemon trainers, and cause the birds to fly away with all the trainers Up-style

...Yeah, you really don’t want to deal with this guy right now. You have bigger fish to fry! Or… er, that’s not the right term to use right now, is it? Regardless, you kill two birds with one stone by sending out yourself, and punting the Spearow into the stratosphere. However, since birds do, in fact, have the capability to fly, the Spearow makes a fantastic aerial recovery, and soars to the ground!

Urgh… Your punting skills, called into question? Does this city have no end to the trials it yeets at you? Alright, alright. You are done wasting time with this. You loudly shout that you oppose bird suffrage to all who can hear, and only succeed at attracting the attention of the other non-gym leader trainer. Falkner, up ahead, is wearing headphones and presumably listening to some pretty chill tunes.

The other guy sends out two Pidgeys, and you think… non-evolved Pokemon? In Violet City’s Gym? It’s more likely than you think- get your free Pokemon check now! Clearly, this must be remedied. Not only that, but it could be seen as kinda bad form for a bird Pokemon trainer to keep a bird Pokemon in a cage. Now- that cage could be an accessory for purely symbolic reasons, representing how he’s trapped in this dead-end-job because he can’t get his Pokemon to evolve because every ten-year-old who comes through here is mildly overleveled and so his Pokemon never get strong enough to evolve!

Clearly, this must be remedied. Thinking on your feet, you procure 50 feet of hempen rope that comes standard with all adventurer’s packs, and cut it into three roughly equal segments, and then tie the (protesting) trainers to their Pokemon. Surely dragging a human around all day should build strength! And to the trainers….

Fly, you fools.

Anyways, you think you can probably fight Falkner now. Unless you want to go to Sprout Tower, get a Bellsprout, and trade an Onix, just in case? You should be fiiiine, none of your Pokemon took any damage during this. Unless? (Unless?)

So, what’ll it be?

What? No! This is a Pokemon Battle, meant to challenge the strength of your pokemon, and your bond with them! You should send out Hamlet Michelle...to punch Falkner in the face, TOGETHER

SUPLEX. THE BIIIIIIIIIRD