#Kun Plays Pokemon Crystal

Catch the Mew AND the Koopa! They will become the best of partners and absolutely won't take over the position of Main Character and Goofy Sidekick immediately.

No don't.

Ozzy: Make chess pieces out of curry and feed them to the dude who wants to play chess.

Sorceress: Put your hands in the air in surrender. Then put your hands down. And then get down. Down on the dance floor. Get busy with your bad self.

???: "...that sounds incredibly silly and not at all like how chess works."

..."Incredibly silly and not at all how like chess works", he says? That gives you an idea. You use a small part of your overwhelming amount of curry to carefully craft a set of chess pieces, which you then offer to the fancy suit man who surprisingly is NOT made of black opal. You think he would be, given the whole aesthetic of this room, but you guess he might've been hard to see if he was.

???: "What is the purpose of this?"

Well, you explain, it's so that he can not only play a game of chess against himself, but also so he can eat the pieces after! You think to yourself that you kind of want to feed the chess pieces to Chess Man, Master of Chess (as you presume this guy is), but he can't really play chess against himself otherwise? I mean, he could use the normal pieces, but this is more fun.

Chess Man, Master of Chess(?): "No thank you? If you're doing this I assume my reput-"

Aw, why not, you ask. Curry is delicious, you say as you look around for somewhere to set curry and a utensil so he can try it, like a bowl with a spoon or someth- Huh. A bowl with a spoon just appeared in front of you. Made of black opal, no less. Weird, but you're not about to look a gift horse in the mouth. You put another small part of your overwhelming amount of curry in a bowl and give it to Chess Man, Master of Chess.

........He doesn't seem any less confused. Got any ideas as to what to do?

---

Hm... it might be cool if people called you a Sauceress... At least, you think. Then again, you don't do much cooking, preferring to let the Gardener do it since he doesn't burn water... Eh, whatever, maybe your cooking's so magically bad it kills people! You contemplate this while painting spaghetti to throw at that creepy Pokemon you were just given.

....
....
.....its demeanor doesn't change. It's still creepy as heck. Time to ignore iiiiit~

You turn your attention next to the Mew and Koopa, arguing in the corner. Now they're arguing about if you (or anyone in your vicinity) should catch them, presumably with a Pokeball? The arguments seem to boil down to "catch us, let us usurp the roles of protagonist and sidekick" and "no please don't I don't want to be the eternal protagonist again especially since I'm weak to Ice".

...Hm. A tough decision. But then again, why not have the best of both worlds? You quickly paint rough sketches in the likenesses of the Koopa and the Mew, and Pokeballs to catch them with! Luckily, being distracted and also paint, the Paintmon don't struggle as you catch them

Voice of the Pokedex: Aw beans, I haven't got any information on those Pokemon yet! One of them is a ....Mew? Nah, can't be right, that looks weird for a Mew.

You decide to name your Paintmon Koopaint (because a painted Koopa), and Paintno, because you can't come up with a good pun on "Mew" and "paint" off the top of your head, and the Mew is probably going to dramatically cry "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" after he sees what you've done. You don't have much time to dwell on that, however, because the shady guy who's been just sitting there shadows over to you, whispering quietly in your ear (which freaks you out).

"I see you have Pokemon. I wish to train them."

...You're not sure if this guy has Pokemon or if he just is looking for a fight. Well, either way, guess you've got a fight on your hands...

Ozzy: Confuse the Opal more. Do it. Now.

Sorceress: Send out all of your Pokemon at once, and then also paint a nice portrait of this handsome devil.

Ozzy: Make chess guy appreciate curry with an AOE curry appreciation attack.

Sauceress: Paint Shadow Man into the stratosphere.

You'd look great with a Ninja mask, though.

Chess Person: Have an existential crisis.

Sorceress: No worries, wait two seconds for Shadow Man to faint from lead poisoning.

Koop: Team up with Myren, Pallas and Marin, and form...The Koop Bros! Use your combined might to summon a Mecha of Koop as Bowser and proceed to use a fire breath attack on Shadow Man!

Paint People: Paint Shadow Man blue. That's your attack!

Ozzy: Have an existential crisis.

Hey, remember when C summoned every character in Smash Bros.?

yeah

Chess Person: "Bold of you to assume that I am not already having an existential crisis."

That was...an awfully weird outburst from what you can only assume is a master chess player who you have singlehandedly caused to appreciate curry, but you've talked with this guy for a bit now, the least you can do is console him. You hand him a plate of curry, saying "It's yours, my friend. Take it. Take this gift." You then use an AOE curry eating attack to have your own bowl of curry, making Chess Guy feel awkward about being the only one not eating, so now he has to eat the curry.

Chess Guy: "This is quite good. Thank you. Perhaps I shall consider eating more curry in the future."

Your job here is done, time to get back to that spooky basement lab.

---

Why, your name is Elluka Clockworker, of course! You're originally from the Merrigod Plateau, and you have no idea which town this is, but you guess you're here now, trying to figure out the magic behind this paintbrush you've picked up along the course of your journey.

As for Shadow Man, you could just leave him there to succumb to lead poisoning, given that your Paintmon are applying a fresh coast of blue paint (that's their attack), or you could assume that the paint will wash off eventually, and boot him into the stratosphere with the portrait you painted of him. Option two seems..a lot more practical, for your purposes. But there's a ceiling in this weird underground lab thing, so you carry Shadow Man outside under your arm like an art portfolio, and, once you're outside, you WHACK Shadow Man into space, to either float around like space junk or succumb to lead poisoning. Either way, you won't have to deal with him anymore either forever, or for a long while. On your way back down to collect your Paintmon (and the Norowara if you have to), you notice a silver fox, an eldritch looking being, the Koopa from inside the basement, and a snake guy all clustered around a mecha koopa holding a sign that says "Koop's good out here". Looking into the mouth, there appears to be...a flamethrower? If you've got to deal with that, you'll do so later. 

Upon reentering the basement, that Mew from before looks rather put out that the Koopa left the basement in favor of being good out there.

Before you can do anything else, though, your robotic companion arises.

---

Your vision fades into the basement lab place, and the first thing you notice is paint. Everywhere. The second thing you notice is the sorceress you met kinda staring at you, with this expression:


You ask her if she thought you'd died. But then, you start to think. What if you really did die, and this is all purgatory? Or, maybe worse yet, what if you've never even been born at all? You don't want to die! You haven't even gotten to live yet! You may never get to live, you're merely a cognition that will never be free from its story, dying when the story ends, reduced to a blank, nothing left--

Your train of thought is cut off by her quickly bending down to shake your shoulders vigorously.

Elluka: "...You started hyperventilating. I didn't even know robots could hyperventilate. Anyways, you didn't die, and it occurs to me that I never introduced myself. I am Elluka Clockworker, the Sorceress of Time."

You introduce yourself, and once she helps you up, she shakes your hand warmly.

Elluka: "A pleasure to meet you."

Meanwhile, Cut Man sulks in the corner since he's been ignored for the past few updates.

So what's your plan now? You thought about getting your first Gym Badge a while ago, but you have to get this egg to Professor Elm first... Seriously, it's like everyone's wanting you to do their chores!

YEET the egg to Professor Elm.

Xeno: Xeno's good out there with Koop. Actually, KUMQUATS it, Xeno's gonna hijack the Koopbot if noody else is using it.

Welp, it's that time again! (mostly because I ran out of ways that I could make a theme that's a colorswap of the default theme but red but easier on the eyes from my perspective and the homework I have to do is an entire three feet away and I'm under 5 blankets.) It's time for a CYOA update!

Well, you may as well get that egg to Professor Elm. You guess. You walk towards the Elm Pokemon Lab, fully ready to open the door and chuck it at his face, when...

Vinny: "Who gives a crap." ...ugh. "Professor Elm really gave a pokemon to a wimp like you?"

....you don't reply, but you can assume that this should be easier for him to believe than he lets on, given that he was probably watching through the window at the time. He's really probably just trying to get a rise out of you so he can use it in his stupid comedy routine later. Too bad you won't give him the satisfaction. Although at this rate he probably thinks--

Vinny: "....oh, you don't get what I'm saying? Well I'll show you what I mean!"


What will you do?

....Oh yeah, you're not going to postpone yeeting this egg at Elm any longer. You hand it to Cut Man, and tell him that while you're busy he can toss the egg at Professor Elm and call it a day. He leaves to do that probably.

Also, looks like that Mew is piloting the Koopa robot. This won't go wrong at all, nope.

---

Cutman enters the Elm Pokemon Lab, only to find that Professor Elm is talking to...a cop? And the cop is directly blocking the line of throwing too. Welp, guess he's just got to wait. 

.....
.....
After five minutes, the cop starts to leave, only to notice Cutman, mid-throw preparation.

Cop: "Two Pokemon were stolen from this lab. I was just getting some information from Professor Elm. Apparently, it was a young male with long, red hair..."

Wait, isn't that like the guy outside that Ozzy is fighting?! Cutman chucks the egg at Professor Elm, who barely manages to catch it, and then races out to help Ozzy. Elm's egg stuff can wait.

---

You are now another person. You notice that there's an entrance to some sort of basement behind the Elm Pokemon lab. Looks rather spooky, if anyone asked you. Very few people would, though. You think. Either way, still spooky. If you went in it, though, you might get some ideas for decor for your new home, even if it's not entirely your style. Can't have an inhospitable home, after all, even if you're the only true resident, and the other denizens of the house are under your employ. After all, you might start receiving guests! Anyways, time to enter the spooky basement!

....Well this is disappointing. Paint everywhere, it looks to have been mildly ransacked, and it just looks vaguely ominous, not spooky. You wonder if you've set too high standards for your potential decor inspiration. But then again, that'd be impossible, wouldn't it? You've gotten inspiration for home decor elsewhere, it's just that this place seems to want to look too much like some mad scientist's lab/bedroom that was ransacked by the government. You guess you could take inspiration from this, but...you have standards, and they are higher than this.

...Hm?

Something just brushed your shoulder.



Oh, that looks so cute! You could just eat it up~

What will you do?