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Post by Planetbox on Mar 6, 2019 19:44:25 GMT -5
C: Chikorita is precious, so defeat entirely using moves that don't hurt it.
Other Person: Try something new with your life. Don't eat it.
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Post by Sable-Xeno on Mar 9, 2019 20:54:59 GMT -5
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Post by Asphoxia on Mar 9, 2019 21:54:44 GMT -5
C? You're not sure who that is, or why someone wants him to defeat this Chikorita without hurting it. Although, Chikorita is rather precious, it'd be a shame if it were truly to get hurt. You kneel down, look it in the eye, and gently explain to Chikorita that Vinny isn't the type of person that it'd like to be associating with, proceeding to explain what Vinny's "comedy" is like. You're not really mad, Chikorita couldn't have known better, but you hope that it'll make better life decisions in the future.
Out of the corner of your eye, you see a woman dressed in red walking off. You turn to look at her, and...your vision is blocked by a stream of fire. WHAT?! Oh, it's coming from that koopa robot. ...Bad news, probably. By the time you look back to Chikorita, Cut Man has already taken it upon himself to be Chikorita's hairdresser... You're not sure if Chikorita actually wanted that though.
This is falling apart fast, what'll you do?
....not eat it? Hm... If you leave anything behind, you'll be punished... You turn back towards the Gastly, and...Oh. It disappeared! Nothing to do about that. You may as well eat something else... What about this box...with a planet inside it? Seems odd, but okay. Perhaps this'll be some sort of new flavor you haven't heard of before!
....needs more saffron. Oh well, time to work on decorating your new home. You leave the spooky basement, there is no decor inspiration for you here. You'll just have to look elsewhere, you suppose. On your way elsewhere, you notice some robot gently scolding a Chikorita. Eh, not your problem. You'll just be off then~!
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Post by Sable-Xeno on Mar 9, 2019 21:58:10 GMT -5
C: Show up, steal the Koop robot, and leave.
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Post by Planetbox on Mar 13, 2019 20:53:54 GMT -5
Both People: Have an epic meet-up since I'm assuming the Chikorita in the second part is the same as the Chikorita in the first part.
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Post by OshaliteX2 on Mar 18, 2019 11:40:43 GMT -5
Both People: Mistake each other for your mortal enemy and have a broody stand-off before silently agreeing to plot each others' demise.
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Post by Koopario on Mar 23, 2019 23:33:34 GMT -5
Koop Robot: Become unto a god.
Other Person: Throw something nonchalantly over your shoulder, hitting the Koop Robot just as it becomes unto a god.
Ozzy: Un-hairdress the Chikorita.
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Post by Sable-Xeno on Mar 28, 2019 16:32:14 GMT -5
Does this mean I'm piloting God?
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Post by Asphoxia on Mar 28, 2019 17:33:12 GMT -5
Aw beans, that person in red looks like Vinny. That's not a good. You don't have much time to dwell on that though, because the Chikorita headbutts Cut Man, clearly not wanting a hairdresser at the moment.
Cut Man: 42/49
Oof. That can't have felt pleasant. In an effort to placate Chikorita so that you can attempt to reason with it once more, you un-hairdress it, but your efforts are quickly interrupted as the Koop robot seems to find something....a sash, seemingly made out of plants. It's calling to you, claiming you can do great things together. The Koop robot seems unaffected by this, but the Mew floats out of the robot, reaching towards the sash...
And is quickly dropkicked by a child about your age carrying a staff made of meat, sending the sash flying into the distance in the other direction. The child looks at you for a moment, and then quickly pilots the Koop robot through a dimensional rift.
What will you do?
Hm, that child... They seem...like they would want to drink everything in the world. What a terrible idea. Some things are meant to have a solid texture for when you consume them. Perhaps...you should not let them! If they try to challenge you, they will be sorry. You just need to find some good decor first. Something in good taste.
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Post by Planetbox on Mar 30, 2019 10:14:32 GMT -5
Ozzy: Follow that robit!
Other Dude: Buy a nice floral armchair.
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Post by Asphoxia on Apr 1, 2019 14:27:54 GMT -5
You try to follow the robot, but the dimensional rift closes in your face, knocking you far, far backwards, making you pass out with the force....  ???: “Hey, you. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there.” What will you do? |
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Post by Sable-Xeno on Apr 1, 2019 14:40:05 GMT -5
Ozzy: scream
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Post by OshaliteX2 on Apr 1, 2019 14:57:44 GMT -5
Ozzy: Scream and then kick this guy into the stratosphere.
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Post by Asphoxia on Apr 1, 2019 15:15:23 GMT -5
You do what comes most naturally to you. You scream. The guy looks affronted, but he looks outright betrayed when you kick him into the stratosphere. Bethesda physics, amirite? Anyways, you're still tied up in the back of a cart. What will you do? |
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Post by Koopario on Apr 1, 2019 15:21:44 GMT -5
Scream at the Bethesda physics and kick them too. Replacing them with even worse physics.
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Post by Planetbox on Apr 1, 2019 15:23:48 GMT -5
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Post by Sable-Xeno on Apr 1, 2019 16:02:10 GMT -5
Lasso that guy with your teeth!
If that's too weird, then just scream again, but this time scream 'FUS RO DAH!'
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Post by Asphoxia on Apr 1, 2019 16:39:56 GMT -5
These physics are....just too weird. You decide that you want that guy back, to help you understand the physics, and try to lasso him with the rope and your teeth at the same time. You end up biting the rope. Ew. Tastes like rope. You channel your hatred for the taste of rope, and yell "FUS RO DAH!" The force of this shout is so great that it flings the Bethesda physics engine into the stratosphere. Which is replaced by....
What will you do?
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Post by Sable-Xeno on Apr 1, 2019 16:43:31 GMT -5
No, no! These physics are still too good! We must get even worse physics going! Bring in the Switch Port physics!
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Post by Planetbox on Apr 1, 2019 16:53:17 GMT -5
Install a Communist regime in Skyrim so you can get the expansion for free
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Post by Koopario on Apr 6, 2019 19:20:27 GMT -5
Suplex the concept of the EA Store into the floral armchair.
I mean Chikorita.
...
Suplex it into both.
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Post by Dimitri on Apr 15, 2019 16:09:47 GMT -5
Buy 5,000 lootboxes, but do it with someone else's credit card.
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Post by OshaliteX2 on Apr 24, 2019 9:18:27 GMT -5
I second Planet.
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Post by Sable-Xeno on May 6, 2019 22:07:31 GMT -5
Marcus: Yahoo!
Yahoo!
Yayayayayayayayayayayayayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyahoo!
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Post by Asphoxia on May 7, 2019 17:38:11 GMT -5
Well, since you've got EA's microtransactions and it's your own fault, there's only one thing to do: Buy 5,000 lootboxes, but with someone else's credit card! .....whose credit card to use, though? Probably Vinny's. Yeah, you're gonna use Vinny's. He totally deserves this for getting in the way of your first gym badge. Him and his Chikorita that's too adorable to hurt, and whatever other Pokemon he has. Hmph. As a cascade of opened lootboxes and hats rain on you, you wonder who could possibly need this amount of hats in their life. ... ... ... .....you're gonna take them anyways. (Obtained: Hats x 5,000) Now, as for what to do about this storefront.... You can't just leave it here, it's gaudy. Seriously, neon gold? Who'd make an interface such an eyeburning color? Yuck! It's shining right in your eyes! Out of disgust, you suplex it as far as it can, so far that, with the broken physics, it goes so far that it disappears. Wonder where that went. Eh, anywhere's better than here. That leaves a lack of physics in the game, though, and that void is filled by... Oh. Oh gods.Know what, it's probably better if you just leave before the awful physics get replaced with something worse. You dropkick a Communist expansion five feet away from you, and then pirouette gracefully out of the fresh hell you had created for yourself, landing on your feet in....a train? Well, guess you've got no option but to look aro-- ???: "A ROBOT?! On MY Owl Express?!"The strange....Owl? Bird...??? You're not gonna question it, you guess, seems to scrutinize you. How you tell this despite his lack of eyes, you guess you'll have to do. ???: "Guess you'll have to do. There's a bunch of pecknecks trying to sabotage me train, and if they do, it's over for all of us. |
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Feed me lemons or feed me life!
