#Kun Plays Pokemon Crystal

Edit: Might be a good idea to think about getting your first Gym Badge.

Proceed to keep this nice gentleman waiting.

Seconded and seconded.

Set up a doppleganger of yourself named Dizzy to continue keeping him waiting while you go off to heal your mons.

Tell him it was a staring contest, and reprimand him on thinking a youth with such weak Pokemon would want to battle, especially with their partnersin such weak condition. Demand a proper staring contest.

Oh, crap. On one hand, you want to fight this guy, on the other, you're not sure you could take him, and on the secret, third hand, you literally just wanted to win a staring contest. But your Pokemon are injured, so that decreases your chance of winning even further. There's not a way you could get out of this, unless...

You quickly craft a doppelganger out of Earthy Curry, name it Dizzy, and set up a card for Mr. Pokemon to read while you run off and heal your Pokemon. How you manage to do this without breaking eye contact is beyond me, but you manage it. The card itself reads:



Mr. Pokemon sighs upon reading the note, and points out that locking eyes does mean 'Let's Battle!' in the context of Pokemon. You should have expected this. The lack of response from your curry doppelganger causes him to notice that you are no longer there and he's been talking to a pile of curry and rice, and he sighs, shaking his head. He literally just wanted to give you an egg. This is going to be a long day.

Meanwhile, you rush off to the Pokemon Center, carefully (not to mention stylishly) sidestepping any battles along the way. Wanting to get your Pokemon healed as quickly as possible, you do a sick kickflip over the counter, and operate the Pokemon healing machine yourself. Because seriously, if an ex-criminal turned Pokemon protagonist can do it, so can you! Of course, you don't actually think this because you have no idea who Wes is. Alright, now your Pokemon are as battle-ready as they'll ever be for right now, at least.

You return to Mr. Pokemon's house, and lock eyes with him, informing him that the staring contest is back on, and that you intend to Pokemon battle as well.

"Very well. I would approach future situations like this with less overconfidence if I were you, but in the end, only you can decide your own actions."

The author briefly reflects on the irony of that statement, and wonders if Mr. Pokemon is aware of said irony.



...He did warn you. You got a clever solution to this, or what?

If burning it doesn't work try throwing curry at it.

Your first reaction to this situation is to rectify semantics. You, being challenged by Mr. Pokemon? Preposterous! It was you who did the challenging! You reach through the fourth wall, rearranging the words within the battle opener statement to say "You have challenged Mr. Pokemon!" Unfortunately, reaching through the fourth wall feels like jello on your arm, and the texture of jello on your arm is literally the worst, as you just discovered.

Obtained: Knowledge that breaking the fourth wall is sensory hell (x1)

You're not going to break the fourth wall to warp everything so you win this battle, so time for you to use your ingenuity. You think for a moment and realize "Hey, isn't Houndoom just an ominous dog?" This realization brings you to an idea: Dogs like squeaky toys. Using this idea, you masterfully craft a squeaky toy out of Earthy Curry, and throw it to Houndoom. Houndoom bounds over to it, excited, and chomps down on the squeaky toy, only to realize that curry doesn't exactly squeak, much less make noise. It does taste good, though!

While Houndoom is distracted, you decide to send out Cyndaquil, in the hopes that Cyndaquil could burn Mr. Pokemon's suit, thereby causing him to forfeit.

Cyndaquil used Ember!
It's not very effective...

Mr. Pokemon's tie catches fire, and while he is distracted putting it out, Houndoom moves of their own accord, and faints Cyndaquil. You spend your next two turns throwing curry at Mr. Pokemon, but Houndoom manages to sweep your team without a trainer.

Ozzy whited out!

You awake in the Cherrygrove Pokemon Center, your Pokemon healed to full health. You do realize, however, that your inventory has two extra items in it. One of said items is a mysterious egg. The other is a note.



The note is signed with some sort of symbol that resembles a stylized atom, but with a circle around the center "nucleus".

Obtained: Mystery Egg (x1)
Obtained: Atomic(?) Note (x1)

In the Pokemon Center where you've woken up, a man with vaguely spiky hair and a labcoat walks over to you.

???: "Oh! You must be Ozzy! I'm Professor Oak." He notices your Pokemon, and thinks for a second. "You know, I was just talking to my friend Mr. Pokemon about needing help with my research. I'm trying to get more information on the various species of Pokemon in the world." He looks at your Pokemon again, watching them run around for a few seconds. "Your Pokemon really seem to like you, so I think I could trust you to help with this. Do you think you could help me out by traveling and trying to find and gather information on more types of Pokemon?"

What will you do?

Agree, but be really sarcastic about it.

This offer seems reasonable. Traveling the world before you even start middle school, catching all kinds of cool creatures, and pissing off that judge guy who was kind of a jerk if you ever encounter him again? Sweet deal. You nod in response to Professor Oak's offer, and he gives you the Pokedex! I'm pretty sure that all of you know what a Pokedex is, so I'm not gonna describe it. This is a CYOA post, not an essay on theme that needs at least 600 words that the author is avoiding writing.

Obtained: Pokedex (x1) (waterproof)

But since you can't just say "yeah sure" like a normal person, once Oak starts giving you a lecture on how the Pokedex works, you kick him into the stratosphere with an EXCEPTIONALLY POWERFUL KICK! He never saw it coming. Of course, this means that you have no idea how the Pokedex works, so you kinda press buttons on it for a while before actually figuring it out.

Boop!

Bwop!

Beep!

Bop!

Oop!

Wa-Waaaaa...

EENH!

It looks like the button-pressing noises on this Pokedex are voiced by some guy rather than actually being normal button-pressing noises. You briefly question Professor Oak's life decisions, before remembering that this is the man who told an eleven year old to go travel the world unsupervised in order to help with scientific research. This is the least questionable decision he's made today.

You barely leave the Pokemon Center, when you get a call from Professor Elm, who seems to be in a state of panic.

Elm: "Ozzy! None of the Pokemon that you didn't choose are in the lab! They've gone missing!"

Well yeah, you knew that. You made a deal with Vinny so you'd get two Pokemon each, loathe as you were to do it. Still though, you should probably deliver that egg. The faster you get rid of the boring errands, the sooner you can go exploring and leave your boring hometown behind.

What shall you do, people (including a Mew)? Make sure to give this careful consideration, and submit your ideas here.

Deliver the egg by softly kicking it all the way to... was it the lab? I think it was the lab.

Yeah, getting errands out of the way sounds good. You do have goals outside of doing errands for Pokemon Professors unwilling to leave their labs! In fact, you're so disgusted by the fact that said goals haven't taken a driving force to the plot yet that you decide to express that by kicking the egg towards Professor Elm's lab. But you figure you'll get yelled at if the egg breaks, so you wrap the egg in bubble wrap first. I mean seriously, not only will you get to kick the egg, but you'll also get to pop any unpopped bubbles once you're actually AT the lab.

You go on your merry way, kicking the bubble-wrapped egg back down Route 29, and get about halfway back before you realize something.

...Shouldn't you have run into more wild Pokemon by now? As in at least one? Random encounters are a hallmark of this sort of Pokemon game, after all. This...is definitely strange. There's no Pokemon around...

You look down at your feet, unsure of what to make of the lack of small animals leaping out of the grass at you and....oh. There's no tall grass. Well that explains it. But....there was definitely grass here earlier. Confused, you look around, for any possible hint as to how the grass could've disappeared.

...... Doesn't look like it was trampled by a herd of Donphan. How would a herd of Donphan even get here anyways? This is a fairly isolated pathway between a quiet town and a decent-sized yet still quiet city, unless the Donphans were paratroopers they wouldn't get here without alerting everyone in either New Bark Town or Cherrygrove City, and there's no WAY you wouldn't have noticed them earlier!

You realize that the grass isn't even trampled, so there's no point to pursuing this train of thought.

...... There's no scorch marks, it wasn't burned down. You start wondering if a Moltres could get here, but stop yourself before that tangential train of thought leaves the station.

This leaves only one possibility. The grass has to have been cut. But by what, or by who?

You look around, and discover the culprit standing thirty yards in front of you. It appears to be...a robot? With weird and sharp hair.



He appears to be using his hair to cut the grass while crabwalking down Route 29. This, while not the weirdest thing you've seen all day, does spark an idea. Why don't you see about other robot people like this, fight them all, and steal the flying saucer of a guy you've never met? That sounds like a BRILLIANT idea! But, of course, in order to fight all the robot people, you have to fight this guy first. So you walk up to him and make eye contact.



What shall you do?