OshaliteX2's CYOA of stuff. <#kun version>

Hold up a finger to whatever source the voice is coming from to find the "optimize gear" button and dole out the good stuff accordingly.

Once everyone is re-swagged out with the newest and freshest name-brand blingees, greet the voice with newly purchased confidence and pose cooly as everyone introduces themselves.

A week ago I got what I consider to be a really cool idea for this part of the CYOA, but I'm only getting to the writing of it now. I just hope I don't mess it up...
Somewhere, somehow, someone pressed a button that switched up everyone's gear.
New loadouts can be found on BitF first page, and I'm sorry I keep putting everything there. :/
Some items and gear that haven't been used in a while also now have descriptions. I'll fill in those that don't next time I have the chance.
BACK TO ADVENTURE
-~-
You manage to suppress an extreme urge to scream EXTREMELY LOUDLY at the new face, and pose cooly and introduce yourself as honestly as possible. It's a old-ish looking man. Older than Marshall judging by looks. He's taller than you but shorter than Isra. He has sickly-looking extremely pale skin, a scruffy beard and graying hair with thin eyebrows high above his dark brown eyes in an excited-looking expression. His clothes look worn, but not dirty, and when he talks you notice his teeth aren't even that unkept-looking either. On his back, he carries a big backpack with a spear sticking out of it visibly. Now why would he need that? I doesn't look like anything else is here...
"Oh. So you go just by Ace? Well I guess that's more yourself than your real name. I'll call you Ruby, because I, frankly, don't give a darn."
You expect the guy to slap his knee or something and laugh at what you have to assume was a joke, but he keeps smiling at you with the same happy expression as before. You stay polite and begin to introduce the rest of your team, most of whom greet him rather politely. Isra especially.
"Greetings, mister. It is a pleasure to meet you. I am named Isra. You seem very kind, what would happen to be your name?"
"Ha!" His laugh is short, airy, and almost unnerving, "Aren't you just the cutest! It's been a while since I've seen a pretty penny like you in these caves. Call me Elliot!" He laughs again, "Heh... in fact, you people are the first living folks I've seen in just as long, too. I always find nice-looking folks just like you, but they're not quite so... alive! And friendly! Granted, you people probably haven't been here before... and you could be a bit more personable like your friend Isra here. But I'm happy for the company. I just call this nice place the Snake Caves. Welcome!"
Area Discovered: Snake Caves
His words visibly unnerve the bulk of your group. You hear Marshall gulp and Apollo mumble something to Amanda. Elliot continues to talk.
"Not much for conversation, eh? Well you all mostly don't look very smart. That's fine by me! So I saw you guys get in from the outside? That's unfortunate, but it does make sense why I keep finding outsider people every now and then. I didn't know so many people passed by the peak to this mountain..."
"They don't." Amanda says to him, coming in front of you, "Where I'm from, it's told in stories from around the mountain that only select few are supposed to make their way to the top of the mountain. Even if you weren't to believe in the folk stories, the journey up is painstaking and difficult. People wouldn't just... go." She leans back and seems to think. Elliot's expression stays.
"So are you all done talking?" he soon says, "Your stories don't seem like much concern to me. But if what you say is right, then why are all you people here?"
Amanda sighs and tells him. His expression keeps, still. When she's done he gives a short response "Huh. Well, that's a better story than before."
Your party is silent again, this time longer than before. Elliot keeps his stoically excited eyes locked on your group. "Well now that you're here, you might as well get comfortable. You won't ever get out. I tried for a while, and it got me nothing."
"Wait!" Apollo speaks up, "Um, we probably could stay for a while, if you'd like,"
"Well I'll be the judge of that! So far you all seem a bit stale."
"Erm... ye--but do you know if these tunnels lead to the peak at all? We saw a big crystal-looking thing there earlier, and we assume that's what we should be targeting, and... er... getting rid of."
Elliot's expression suddenly droops. "And why do you want to know?" He says, his voice more serious.
"Because it'll help the mountain?"
"Yeah I was gonna tell you anyway. Sure it does, but it's a ways on."
"Could you show us...?" Isra nods to support the suggestion. Elliot looks to her, then to Apollo before sighing and answering, "Yeah, sure. You're... not planning to try and escape, are you?"
Your party seems careful to answer. Isra takes this one, "Of course not! We are simply trying to get on with our task."
"Eh, fine by me." Elliot says, "But follow me first."

You walk behind Elliot through the caves, illuminated by his surprisingly bright "Light Device" (as he calls it) The walls look like they were made by unnatural forces, which is odd, but considering the peak is moving you assume they're just a byproduct of that. You touch them... and you could swear that they feel almost warm. As you follow Elliot, you hear bits of a whispered conversation between Apollo and Amanda. You may or may not be above eavesdropping, but they're the only one's talking so it's hard to not hear them.
"Elliot ... weird and kinda creepy ... Isra ... what did he mean by alive and friendly? ... Isra's so cool ... can we escape?"
You stop listening and they stop talking not too soon as the slope in the cave meets a sudden drop-off. Elliot looks down there and sees something he feels the need to mention.
"Hey people, don't go down there."
You walk up to the spot and see the drop-off is rather short, but you see a PERSON at the bottom of the small cliff. They don't seem to be moving, but you do hear wheezing noises.
"What... who... um... that?" Marshall stutters to your guide.
"It doesn't matter." He says, "Just remember, as long as you follow my lead you can get anywhere in these caverns. I bet in a while you'll be able to as well... maybe... three years? I guess you're all lucky I found you, this guy has been here a while and I'm not sure when he came in to begin with."
Nobody makes any further comments and you all follow him into a more narrow path to your left Eventually you end up in a room-looking area with a bed and a shelf full of books, an electronic clock with a notebook on a small table next to it. Behind the bed is a strange-looking machine.
"Well, we're here. This is my little cave home. We'll be packing up and moving along sometime tomorrow morning. I like to move around, I've found some real treasures here that I keep in my trove of sorts." He points to a large chest by the odd device. Nobody in your party asks further, and Elliot doesn't seem like he expected you to. His expression has gone back to the sort of excited one he had earlier.
"We still have some time before supper, do what you please, but don't get lost."
Your party begins to situate themselves. What will you do now? (if you decide to explore outside of camp, will you take anyone with you?)

New Items: None
Persony Bits: None
Recent: Met Elliot, followed Elliot, saw person wheezing in cave mini-cliff, followed Elliot some more, at Elliot's cave home, to continue to peak crystal area next morning (according to his clock)

Make an Indiana Jones reference involving snakes.

Noted.

You walk up to Elliot, of whom right now is taking out a set of pots and pans and putting them on and around the machine behind his bed. It looks cube-shaped, with lines going across it in four neat rows on each side. It's rusty and old, but it definitely still does some neat things. Elliot taps a spot on one of the rows, and out pops a small spigot (also old and rusty) which begins to fill up the pot with surprisingly crystal-clear water from earlier. He suddenly turns and talks to you,
"What? If you want to say something to me come out with it. Are you just gonna stare?"
Well that was rude. You ask Elliot if there are snakes in these caves, and if so, how the HECK has he survived for... however long.
"35 years, guy. Don't think me to be some old crazy man."
... indeed.
"I was gonna tell you and everyone how I made it out down here, but I'm feeling generous so I'll spare some of my own convenience for you. Do you see this contraption here?"
He points to the cube thing. You may or may not have nodded.
"I forget what it's called, where it's from, or how exactly it works, but it can do anything you would want or need. Look," He picks up the now-full pot of water, "the thing creates water out of nothing, which is really convenient. Now feel your hand here," he waves his right hand over the top of it, you might've done the same, "It also doubles as a stovetop and heater. Now do you get it? I've been living off of it for the past 35. It's light, and I'll show you what's more come next morning!" He pats it, then gives you a death glare, "DON'T bust it, or else we're ALL finished." Then he turns around and taps more buttons, of which spit out some good-looking vegetables. Min decides to scan it for you, sensing your inner 'what?'. Staying hidden, she completes the scan and talks about it in you head.
"I'm surprised I have data on this. What good ol' Elliot is using is an old survival teleporter, of which the name should say it all. Somewhere, it's bringing all survival essentials straight to him. My guess it's from some place in Santrito, the machine is used so that employees of them can survive on their own without them having to get it manually. Newer models have a video-feed for communication. This one does not. Heck, I'm surprised it's still functional. More surprised since this means Elliot has some connection to Santrito, but he wasn't lying about anything earlier, a fact that was painfully obvious to me, and he's not lying now."
Elliot turns back around to you in the middle of chopping the veggies, "Oh yeah, and about the snakes..." he furrows his brow as if trying to recall, "Nope. No snakes here." He goes back to chopping.
Min chimes in immediately, "I'm getting mixed readings. He's not lying, but he's leaving something out intentionally. Can't tell what, though. Oh yeah, also, since this guy is apparently from Santrito, I'd be grateful if you kept me a secret. Thanks."

With your foremost questions "answered", you decide to go and explore the mini-cliff from before. The prospect itself is a terrible idea if the guy who's been living here for decades advises against it, but you feel the URGE of EXPOLORARATIONorsomething. Since it's an awful idea as mentioned before, you take Marshall with you, of course.
"Why me?" Marshall says as you deftly slide down the edge of the cliff to the <insert name of Ruby's humanoid species here> body. You don't answer him.
As you approach the body, you notice that is has stopped making wheezing noises. That can't be good. What do you do now?

New Items: None
Persony Bits: Party consists of only Ace and Marshall
Recent: questioned Elliot, Elliot is apparently somehow affiliated with Santrito, snakes? nope, URGE of EXPOLORARATIONorsomething, body is not wheezing

You explain to Marshall that, since he's a water salesman, he's uniquely qualified to get dragged off on whatever mission you say he's qualified for. He tries to respond, but only gets out with a stuttered "Ah--", then points at you, then looks upwards in thought, "Hmgh." before drooping his finger and face and sighing in acceptance(?). This is hard proof that your logic is flawless.
Then you have him check the pulse.
"Alright, now that's just downright lazy."
... Marshall says to you as he goes to check the pulse of the body. He flips their hand over and places his fingers on it, but quickly withdraws his hands with a loud yelp, followed by panicked speech,
"Th-that thing is hotter than boilin' soup! What in heck--?"
As he cuts himself off the body begins to wheeze again, the sound quickly begins to sound more like a crackling fire. Suddenly, the body glows a faint orange and lurches itself up into a standing position with a gut-wrenching "CKlkLrrRIGHLAH!!". Its arms begin to twitch, itself now standing straight up, and it turns to you in a jerked and painful motion.
It's skin is sicky pale and discolored with an orange glow to it. It's torso seems to be wearing normal clothes, but in the middle of its chest in a gaping hole that drips glowing lava. It's eyes are circles much larger than any normal eyes filled with billowing flames that you're surprised aren't burning it to cinders, and it's mouth is also filled with fire. The entire creature seems like its body is struggling to stay standing.
All of a sudden, it seems to actually notice you. It raises its arms and they begin to swing wildly in all different ways, like as if they were the flickering flames of a fire, its empty eye sockets fixated on you and Marshall.
"CriCKlAGHABLaaGhH!!!"
"THAT IS NOT NORMAL." Marshall states.
The monster lunges at both of you. What does you do?

???: 75/75

Ace: 75/75
Marshall: 99/100 HP, Tater Flash ready, Max Pulseness, Majerble's Mask usuable

Hmm... Another ??? enemy? What could this mean?

Summon Dorothy to accidentally melt it with a bucket of water.

That was the best update ever.

Head on back, I guess.

As a symbol of your victory, you scoop up some mud in the vicinity and fire it to make a mud mask for yourself. Good for you. Now it's time to head back.
When you reenter Elliot's camp, he's just finished preparing dinner.
"There you are!" He turns towards you both, "I thought you two had gotten lost, even though I specifically told you not to! You folks might not be that dim after all... We should all eat now, I've made enough food for everyone, and it'll be impossible to travel next morning on an empty stomach."
He sets a plate of boiled veggies over a large blanket on the ground with little cushions for seats placed around it. He makes a dinner call, and before long everyone is seated and has begun munching on the meal. Over the course of dinner, Marshall is uncharacteristically silent, and you can't blame him because of what happened before. Perhaps you'll ask Elliot about the odd creature that attacked you once a chance arises. In fact, everyone eating is giving him worried looks except Elliot, of whom is sloppily eating a chunk of food. Apollo bumps Marshall from next to him in concern,
"Is anything bothering you? I mean, you don't have to tell. But...?"
"It's... I think it'd be better not to talk about it right this instant." Marshall gestures his head towards Elliot, then tries to change the subject by talking to him.
"So Elliot, you were sayin' that we were gonna pack up an' move out or some-the-like tomorrow? You seem to have a lotta stuff around. Mind if I ask how I assume you'd carry it around yerself?"
Elliot wipes his mouth of veggie scraps and sighs while looking Marshall straight on, "I'm going to show all of you tomorrow, but to answer it all goes inside THAT." He points to his old survival teleporter.
"And... how exactly?"
"I said I'd show you. I answered your question, didn't I?"
Marshall is offput by the response, and stares back down at his food with a short grumble. With him finished, Isra begins, "That does explain a lot, Elliot! Say, I remember you saying you had a collection of treasures. Could you tell us about those?"
"Hmm. Hey, you're right. I'll--"
"Hold on a second there," Isra stops him, "if you are thinking of showing us now, that can wait until after we eat. Why do you not just tell us?"
"Okay then. As I go about my business in these caverns, I find these amazing orange crystal stones that I just feel obliged to pick up. They look really pretty. Actually, I'm positive we'll see one tomorrow on the way to the peak. They disappear regularly, so I never run out of room for them."
"Wow! That's amazing! I can barely wait to see them."
"Yep. All of you will be amazed by them..." Elliot trails off and continues eating. Afterwards, dinner continues without further discussion.

Elliot takes the dish from the center of the blanket without a word, signaling the end of the meal.
"Go to bed timely, people!" You hear Elliot say. According to him, it's getting close to bedtime. Everyone else is at their tents doing whatever now. Do you have anything you need to do before bed?

New Items: Mud Mask*
Persony Bits: None
Recent: Back at camp after dinner, almost bedtime, any extra preparations? (check a few updates back)
*Mud Mask: Gear (any); Mag-2, Def+1; It's hard to concentrate with dirt in your nose. And eyes. And mouth.

Tell all your friends about the LEGEND OF THE FIRE GUYS.

Try to come and talk, but be ready to fight if necessary.

Punch Yourself in the face