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Post by OshaliteX2 on Oct 9, 2015 16:17:33 GMT -5
Wallow in self-pity.
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Post by Dimitri on Oct 10, 2015 9:58:04 GMT -5
Show the rest of the police force your sword-eating skill.
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Post by Asphoxia on Oct 10, 2015 15:12:23 GMT -5
Play Undertale.
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Post by Planetbox on Oct 12, 2015 16:08:46 GMT -5
You try to play Undertale, but that is a terrestrial game and thus not available to any fish. You also don't have the technical prowess to port a copy of it on to your Conch Computer or FinnyFun Game System or whatever. Also I haven't played that so any attempt at incorporating it into this CYOA would fall flat on its face within the spam of fifteen seconds. You also fall flat on your face and wallow in your own self-pity. You lie in a pool of your own tears, blubbering in pain. The other policemen are not exactly sure you are fit to investigate this case, but you stand up and quickly prove you are by eating their faces a sword. Billbert the Fish's Son Stanley the Fish dies of internal bleeding. They aren't quite convinced though, so you spit the sword back out. It clangs into the wall of the sewer and somehow opens a secret passageway. Perhaps this is where the killer fled?! What will you do now?
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Post by Dimitri on Oct 13, 2015 9:23:21 GMT -5
Refuse to go through. Instead, turn around and get a donut. I'm sure all the other police will agree this is more important.
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Post by Walkerskaia on Oct 13, 2015 10:36:21 GMT -5
Refuse to go through. Instead, turn around and get a donut. I'm sure all the other police will agree this is more important. do this |
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Post by Sable-Xeno on Oct 14, 2015 5:31:21 GMT -5
Refuse to go through. Instead, turn around and get a donut. I'm sure all the other police will agree this is more important. do this Thirded, but make sure that it's a Spider Donut. |
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Post by Asphoxia on Oct 14, 2015 6:10:26 GMT -5
Thirded, but make sure that it's a Spider Donut. Yes. It must be a Spider Donut. |
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Post by OshaliteX2 on Oct 14, 2015 7:01:05 GMT -5
Do all of that while whispering "NYEH HEH HEH".
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Post by Planetbox on Oct 16, 2015 18:01:36 GMT -5
Hey guess what guys my old avatar was apparently purged from the internet so it's Apollo Justice time now. Yay.
You shout "NYEH HEH HEH" as loudly as possible, permanently erasing the respect the police officers may have once had from you. You say "How about we ignore that passage and get some donuts instead? Who's with me!" One of the police officers sheds a manly tear. "What do you think we are? A bunch of stock policefish characters! I have a wife and children you know." You respond "No you don't! Neither of them are programmed into this CYOA." The fish is set on fire from the sick burn. You are thrown from the sewers and back onto the streets. You then eat a sad and lonely meal of a Spider Donut at the local McSalmons. The only benefit is that you regain 12 HP. Sadly, you can see some gangsters in the corner, that appear to be wanting vengeance for what your father did. What will you do now?
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Post by Asphoxia on Oct 18, 2015 8:47:17 GMT -5
 You were supposed to whisper "NYEH HEH HEH". Anyways, the action is convince the gangsters to perform in Turnabout Musical: Aquatic Edition. |
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Post by Dimitri on Oct 18, 2015 10:35:17 GMT -5
Anyways, the action is convince the gangsters to perform in Turnabout Musical: Aquatic Edition. Yes. This. |
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Post by Planetbox on Oct 19, 2015 16:21:27 GMT -5
You consider that you needed to whisper "NYEH HEH HEH" but OOPS All Berries. Afterwards you try to convince the gangsters to join Turnabout Musical: Aquatic Edition, but gangsters aren't very well-known for their angelic singing voiced. Three of them start shouting stock gangster phrases at you, but the fourth says "A musical! This could be the chance of a lifetime." He then begins an opera rendition of The Wheels on the Bus as he leaves to sign up. The other gangsters look at him in confusion for a bit before grabbing you and shoving you down into the McSalmon's basement. One of them says something like "We're gonna take care of you!" and then they all pull out guns and start shouting more mildly threatening stock phrases. What will you do to survive?
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Post by Dimitri on Oct 20, 2015 10:15:01 GMT -5
Shout generic school bully phrases that somehow manage to be more intimidating and shoot finger guns at them, complete with a "pew pew" sound effect.
If that doesn't work, stop being Billbert The Fish's Son Stanley and start being Billbert The Fish's Son Stanley The Fire Truck. Nothing is stronger than the red hide of a fire truck.
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Post by Planetbox on Oct 23, 2015 18:20:26 GMT -5
You shout many loud phrases at the gangsters, acting the part of a schoolyard bully on the playground. Your hurtful words tear into the gangster's souls. They float in the water, crying and adding more salt to the water. You finish them off by forming your fin into a gun-shape and blasting all three in the chest. The terrified guards quickly flee from the room, leaving several confused diners sitting at their tables. However, business soon continues as normal. What will you do now?
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Post by Dimitri on Oct 23, 2015 23:37:23 GMT -5
Retire from the police and become Batfish. Except for being not-rich. And still having a mother supposedly. And being like, ten.
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Post by Planetbox on Oct 27, 2015 9:28:53 GMT -5
Despite you lack of similarity to the regular Batman, you decide to become Batfish. We are not referring the UK boyband named Batfish (that apparently exists for some reason), we are reffering to the caped crusader of carp and black knight of bass and all sorts of other fun stuff. Your first job is to stop some guy whose doing a thing in a pizza shop nearby. Once you arrive you see Billbert the Fish's Pet Melville the Sea Urchin who has Billbert the Fish tied to a huge firecracker. Apparently he is still alive, probably revived by the mighty Planetbox. Melville doesn't notice you yet, but you can tell that he's about to launch the rocket into space! What do you do now?
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Post by Sable-Xeno on Oct 28, 2015 0:26:28 GMT -5
Puzzle Melville to death with THE JUNOIR JUMBLE!
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Post by Planetbox on Oct 30, 2015 15:43:08 GMT -5
Hey Sable made another Undertale reference what a surprise. You decide that simply punching Melville back to the grave is too simple and logical. Instead you pull out a newspaper and tear out the Junior Jumble. You five it to him, and give him only ten seconds to complete it. Sadly, he runs out of time and his face explodes. With Meliville dead again, you help your father escape the rocket. Now Billbert the Fish is back. He's alos the main character again because why not. What will Billbert do now?
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Post by Planetbox on Nov 2, 2015 19:34:08 GMT -5
Billbert screams in desperation as he saw his CYOA beginning to die around him.
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Post by Planetbox on Nov 6, 2015 17:20:05 GMT -5
Suddenly the world around him began to fall apart. The sea drained away and purple imps and bakis appeared to carry away pieces of the reality. Billbert watched in horror as his world vanished around him. "Why! Why is this happening!" Suddenly, a light shown from the heavens. Stars came down with it, and then a sickle landed blade-first into the ground. The mighty Planetbox floated calmly down and landed in front of it. He grabbed the sickle and held it in one hand. I'm sorry Billbert but your CYOA is over. You and your family better come with me. When a fictional world is shut down, its inhabitants can't escape, and I may need you elsewhere." Billbert hesitates, shocked at what is happening. He shouts "NOO! This was supposed to be my CYOA. I wanted to feel special! I wanted appreciation." The mighty Planetbox gazes sternly upon the fish. "I'm sorry Billbert, but it's not my fault! I can tell no one's interested. In fact, I'm not interested. The CYOA is dead, and if it wasn't now it would be soon. There's nothing you can do." Tears stream from Billbert's eyes "This isn't fair! What's wrong with my CYOA!" "Nothing at the surface. But when compared to my others it just isn't interesting. There's no story or interesting gimmick to play style to keep the audience or creator engaged. All in all, it's pretty much pointless. Maybe you'll get another chance later, maybe not, but you have to get out." A portal opens to the left of the creature. "Now lets go." The two walk in to the portal. Brenda, Stanley and Melville follow behind. It isn't long before the portal closes, leaving behind Billbert's ocean forever.
Now THAT is how you end a CYOA.
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Post by Sable-Xeno on Nov 8, 2015 22:21:03 GMT -5
...I was just about to suggest another Undertale reference. &&&&
Anyways, Marcus decided to intervene, since the scenario you just described is literally his worst, most primal of fears.
He suggests Billbert and company can have an interesting storyline that drawl parallels from another: Billbert having fallen into yet another ocean, rather strange to him. He is then confronted by a weird, talking piece of seaweed, whom pounds into his head the law of the land: down, here, it's eat, or be eaten. After all, there's always a bigger fish...
UNDERWATER
please don't let Billbert's story die
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Post by Planetbox on Nov 9, 2015 19:07:08 GMT -5
Through Popular (?) Demand, Billbert is allowed one more chance at redemption. Who knows how long this will last. Anyway, the mighty Planetbox, tired of Billbert jumping from his sink while shouting "How small fry!", dumps the poor carp or whatever the heck he's supposed to be into the Marianas Trench. When he reaches the bottom, he gets a flashlight, and begins to explore, but only finds a talking piece of seaweed. The weed beckons to him. What will you do?
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Post by Sable-Xeno on Nov 12, 2015 7:48:23 GMT -5
Well, maybe you should try plucking the seaweed from the ground...and smoking it?
Common logic would dictate that seaweed is the weed of the sea. And cultural osmosis would dictate that you must SMOKE WEED ERRYDAY.
...You don't actually KNOW what cultural osmosis is, or how it works, but...bluh.
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Post by Planetbox on Nov 13, 2015 12:50:09 GMT -5
Billbert considers smoking weed, but then remember the tragic tail of Billbert the Fish's Grandfather Charles the Fish, who started smoking seaweed because he wanted to be a coolkid. Sadly, Charles the Fish died at the age of 50 of smoke inhalation (combined with leg cancer, because he sat down during school like a true rebel). On his deathbed, the last thing he said was "SMOKE WEED NERRYDAY!" while in a drunken stupor. (The fish drank a lot of beer too. He was not a smart man, which is why he is buried several miles away from Billbert's family graveyard). These words were later used as a rallying cry by anti-drug advocates, ninth grade health classes, and cartoon characters during the moral segment of bad 80s kid's cartoons. These words were also beaten into Billbert's head by his mother (as well as being printed on the piece of coral she beat him with) and since then Billbert still shudders at the idea of doing drugs. Thankfully, Billbert decides against this action, so nothing of note happens in this update other than the CYOA being pushed into edgy territory. What will Billbert do now?
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Feed me lemons or feed me life!
