|
|
Post by Planetbox on Aug 28, 2015 15:17:21 GMT -5
Billbert the Fish is a fish.
To be more specific, Billbert is a fish from the Pacific Ocean. He enjoys swimming about and eating food. But these are the only things that link him to similar fish. Unlike common fish, Billbert is quite intelligent. He is brave and powerful. He has natural charisma and is skilled at many things. He has lots of friends and is quite the charmer. Most of all, he is very humble. Many would describe him as the most humble fish in the Pacific Ocean, perhaps even in the world!
However, Billbert has one regret on this Earth, and that is his lack of popularity on the web. Despite his natural charm, when he tried to make a name for himself online, he was either ignored or made fun of! Poor Billbert was forced to resign himself to the sea, longingly wishing for a second chance. Thankfully for Billbert, his plea was heard by a powerful, omnipotent creature called the mighty Planetbox. The mighty Planetbox decided to give Billbert his own role in a new CYOA starring him. Billbert hoped that this new role would get him the attention he deserved! But, to be honest, it probably won't.
Billbert is currently in his home, a small cave in a coral reef. This coral reef is known as Pink Rock Reef, due to the abundance of pink coral that gave every surface a bright magenta glow, or something. Billbert is in his living room near a TV set. Billbert the Fish's Wife Brenda the Fish is cooking dinner in the kitchen. Billbert the Fish's Son Stanley the Fish is in his room reading. Billbert looks at a box in the corner. The box used to contain Billbert the Fish's Pet Melville the Sea Urchin, but Melville died in a tragic accident that Billbert does not wish to discuss, and Melville will play no role in the rest of this CYOA. The saltwater is made even saltier by Billbert's tears. What should Billbert the Fish do now?
{{Oh boy it's another CYOA. About everyone's best friend Billbert the Fish. Exciting, right! This CYOA will be run the same way as the Generic CYOA, except with less structure. Basically, I have no plot for this CYOA, and it will probably all be made up on the spot, just like the concept was.}}
|
|
|
|
Post by Sable-Xeno on Aug 28, 2015 17:06:13 GMT -5
Billbert: Quickly retrieve arms from box.
|
|
|
|
Post by Asphoxia on Aug 28, 2015 17:41:15 GMT -5
Billbert: Quickly retrieve arms from box. No, your arms are in your MAGIC CHEST! |
|
|
|
Post by OshaliteX2 on Aug 28, 2015 20:07:28 GMT -5
He will do a barrel roll and become a semi-internet-sensation.
|
|
|
|
Post by Dimitri on Aug 29, 2015 11:58:31 GMT -5
He will create a twitter and tweet funny videos of his son Stanley being a fire truck.
|
|
|
|
Post by Mouser on Aug 29, 2015 21:09:54 GMT -5
Along with your arms, grab your briefcase and Tommy Gun just in case things go awry in your roughneck profession as fish lawyer.
|
|
|
|
Post by Planetbox on Aug 30, 2015 19:01:01 GMT -5
You barge into your son's room unnecessarily lously. To your horror, you find that he is not reading a book but instead watching an episode of Bill Nye the Science Guy! You are so angry at him for giving views to your arch-enemy that you steal his phone and use it to record several low-quality videos of Billbert the Fish's Son Stanley the Fish the Fire Truck driving being a fire truck. You immediately post these videos on Twitter. Despite the fact that they are all upside down and your fin is covering half of the screen they are a smash hit. For about five seconds. Then everyone forgets about them. You try to post a video of yourself doing a barrel roll but someone points out that it's actually an Aileron Roll and then makes a bunch of memes about how dumb you are.
Tired of the internet for now, you walk into the living room and see a magic chest lying on the floor. This is your MAGIC CHEST. This is where you store your SOUL. The MAGIC CHEST teleports around randomly, so you are never sure where it is (except for NOW of course). You decide to open it and see what has been placed inside. First you pull out a Tommy Gun, which fires a bunch of clones of some guy named Tommy. You put it aside and pull out a SUITCASE, which appears to have "Seymour Cooper" set in gold on the handle. You find several URINAL CAKES and a GOLDFISH inside. You release the GOLDFISH and empty out the URINAL CAKES into the MAGIC CHEST and put the tommy gun inside. Finally, you pull out your ARMS. But since Billbert the Fish is a fish, he gets FINS instead. These plastic FINS look overly large and goofy on him, and are useless since already he has real fins. If he wears them, he should keep an eye out for cameras.
What will Billbert the Fish do now?
|
|
|
|
Post by Mouser on Aug 30, 2015 20:45:31 GMT -5
Teach Bill Nye a thing or two about "science" *cracks nuckles*
|
|
|
|
Post by Sable-Xeno on Aug 30, 2015 23:52:50 GMT -5
Find and eliminate Splash Woman with your Tommy Gun. (Her weakness is guys named Tommy.)
|
|
|
|
Post by Dimitri on Aug 31, 2015 0:00:43 GMT -5
Gilbert: Combine fake fins with cakes.
|
|
|
|
Post by Treble Tech on Sept 1, 2015 22:29:05 GMT -5
Use the fact that your fins are triangles to prove that you are Illuminati. Use your newfound knowledge of secret societies to join Anonymous and become internet-famous.
|
|
|
|
Post by Planetbox on Sept 3, 2015 8:49:13 GMT -5
You combine your FAKE FINS with URINAL CAKES to get URINAL FAKES. They're fake URINAL CAKES. They're completely useless. Do to all of these Homestuck references that keep getting forced on me, half the internet is indifferent to you, 25% love you, and the other 25% consider you a crime against all forms of life. This isn't quite what you were hoping to do. You do post some kind of Illuminati Confirmed thing online using your fin shape to prove that you're an illuminati. Unfortunately, you mess up and say Half Life 3 confirmed instead. Now Anonymous hates you. Congratulations.
Billbert the Fish's Wife Brenda the Fish tells you to pick up some eggs from the grocery store as an excuse to get you to leave. You grab the Tommy Gun and your laptop and leave. On your way out you run into Splash Woman. You try to kill her with the Tommy Gun, but everyone knows that her weakness is the Hornet Chaser for some reason. And Tommy has no connection whatsoever to bees. Now, if this was the Muhammad Ali Blaster or something nonsensical like that, this would be a different story. But unlike Mega Man, you have the weapon of Logic on your side. You use this to prove the Splash Woman that she can't exist underwater due to being a robot. This causes poor Splash Woman to adhere to the laws of reality and short-circuit. Bill Nye appears from behind a rock, realizing that his plan failed. You use scientific science to prove the Bill Nye doesn't have a face. Sadly, Bill does have a face, and he uses science to prove that you are glued to a wall. By this I mean he summons Bond Man who uses his weapon to glue you to a wall. Bill Nye escapes. What will you do now?
|
|
|
|
Post by Asphoxia on Sept 3, 2015 9:54:38 GMT -5
BILLBERT: Check mail
|
|
|
|
Post by Dimitri on Sept 3, 2015 11:58:21 GMT -5
To the fish-mobile!
|
|
|
|
Post by Sable-Xeno on Sept 5, 2015 6:36:48 GMT -5
NUUUUUUUEEEEEEE NOT ANONYMOUS! His opinion matters so much to us...
...ahem. Use science to prove that the glue sticking you to the wall is water-soluble.
|
|
|
|
Post by Lenrap on Sept 7, 2015 16:01:30 GMT -5
Murder your son in cold blood so you can be on tv
|
|
|
|
Post by Planetbox on Sept 7, 2015 16:34:03 GMT -5
You use the power of science to prove that the glue is water-soluble. Unfortunately, you mess up. You accidentally prove that flue is the solvent, and then the water around you starts dissolving. You are about to cause the end of all ocean life as you know it, when the mighty Planetbox uses a Dues Ex Machina token to save you. You decide to use this new gift of life to try to kill your son Stanley the Fish. Fortunately, Billbert has this thing we humans call common sense, so he refused to listen to the words of the insane Lenrap. You decide to check your fish-mail. Sadly, all that you can find inside is a bunch of letters from the Bureau of Fishy Fish Bureau asking for money. They have been sending you these letters every day for the past week and you are sick of it. You decide to get in your fish-mobile and go to their bureau to take revenge. The fish-mobile is just a submarine shaped like a fish that increases your swimming speed by 4%. Eventually you arrive outside the doors to the Bureau of Fishy Fish Bureau. The building stretches close to the top of the sea and is adorned in bronze fish swimming around the building with expressions suggesting that they have a desperate need to use the bathroom. The doors of the Bureau are guarded by two annoyed looking swordfish. They are probably annoyed because they have to cross their goofy sharp noses in front of the door in an awkward and painful pose all day. You doubt the guards are going to let you waltz in. What will you do now?
|
|
|
|
Post by Asphoxia on Sept 7, 2015 16:47:52 GMT -5
Tiptoe through the tulips in.
It isn't waltzing.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sable-Xeno on Sept 8, 2015 6:41:08 GMT -5
Invent a porta-potty for the poor fish that have to go to the bathroom. ... ... ... ...Huh. I was expecting something else to happen. Carry on, then.  Turns until Trickster Mode ends: 2.2 |
|
|
|
Post by Walkerskaia on Sept 8, 2015 9:00:56 GMT -5
surprise everyone by waltzing in, condoned by the guards
|
|
|
|
Post by Planetbox on Sept 8, 2015 17:50:25 GMT -5
You invent a bronze porta-potty for the bronze fish. Unfortunately, due to being bronze statues, the fish are physically incapable of using it due to also being physically incapable of breathing. You try to waltz into the building, but the swordfish kick you into the streets. They have strict rules against waltzing into the building and are quite capable of backing this up. However, they are unprepared for when you throw tulips on the ground and then tiptoe through them to get inside. The guards quickly consult their rulebooks. They are required to stop any unathorized fishes attempting to walk, run, waltz, limp, crawl, swim, fly, grapevine, skip, dance, tiptoe, or cartwheel inside, but there is no rule against people tiptoeing through the tulips to enter. They reluctantly allow you to enter.
The lobby of the Bureau of Fishy Fish Bureau is large and open. The polished stone floor spreads out to form a large space with several desks dispersed throughout. Multiple potted corals are placed to brighten up the room. There are doors in all directions as well as ten floors leading to the roof. The offices of the directors are at the top, while the post office for the building is on the 5th floor. That is where the letters are designed and sent from. What will you do now?
|
|
|
|
Post by Asphoxia on Sept 8, 2015 17:58:18 GMT -5
Notice there's a Death Note and poke it, revealing a random Shinigami.
EDIT: For ease of Planet finding stuff out to write about, how about Ryuk or Rem?
|
|
|
|
Post by Sable-Xeno on Sept 9, 2015 2:32:20 GMT -5
Question how you were capable of tiptoing.
Also question why there's polished stone floors if nobody's going to actually use them.
And question why the Bureocracy has a post office, and if that makes sense, question why it's on the 1st floor, as opposed to any floor that would be accessible by a mail truck. And before you say "it's water, fish can swim up there", do remember that you were just tiptoing through flowers.
Continue questioning things until nothing makes sense anymore.
|
|
|
|
Post by Dimitri on Sept 9, 2015 13:09:36 GMT -5
Question how you were capable of tiptoing. Also question why there's polished stone floors if nobody's going to actually use them. And question why the Bureocracy has a post office, and if that makes sense, question why it's on the 1st floor, as opposed to any floor that would be accessible by a mail truck. And before you say "it's water, fish can swim up there", do remember that you were just tiptoing through flowers. Continue questioning things until nothing makes sense anymore. Do this and then go to the post office and sign "Everything You Know Is Wrong" until they agree to stop sending you letters. |
|
|
|
Post by Planetbox on Sept 13, 2015 9:41:42 GMT -5
You begin questioning things. 1: How can you tiptoe? You sort of just walk on your tail fins, like is Spongebob or whatever. But you still swim, because you've been swimming before. 2: Polished stone floors? I probably should have specified that the guards only let in authorized personel. You were not authorized, as you were just a fish who randomly showed up because plot. 3: Post Office? The post office is on the 5th floor, not the 1st. The Bureau has a post office to send letters asking people for money. And this is the ocean, mail trucks don't exist. Every vehicle is more akin to a submarine, so the fish pilot the submarine to the 5th floor, load the truck, and then swim it to everyone in the reef. Trust me, there is a lot of deep background to Billbert's world, and that statement is totally not sarcastic at all.
You see a Death Note lying around, and you poke it. A Shinigami pops out. Unfortunately, I'm supposed to be doing homework right now, so whatever that is drowns five seconds after coming into existence. Then a bunch of fish show up and stuff the Death Note in a box then vanish mysteriously. You swim up to the post office and sing (I'm assuming you meant sing here, not sign) Weird Al's "Everything You Know is Wrong" over and over again. Just before you shift into an opera rendition of "This is the Song That Never Ends", they agree to take you off their mailing list. Unfortunately, they hit you over the head with a heavy package, stuff you in, and then mail you to the Reef Jail. Billbert the Fish is now in jail. What will you do now?
|
|
Feed me lemons or feed me life!
