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Post by Sable-Xeno on Apr 1, 2019 1:17:34 GMT -5
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Post by Planetbox on Apr 1, 2019 6:57:16 GMT -5
Shove that skull onto your face as a disguise. Or shove it onto the snake's face as a disguise. Basically, that skull's dramatic encounter with someone's face is an inevitable outcome.
Also, consider changing your name to "Blunder Boy"
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Post by Dimitri on Apr 1, 2019 11:25:59 GMT -5
Wonder why the "Quick Reply" box is colored a dark grey and question your choice in Linux distributions.
Oh, wait, that's what I'm already doing
Uhhhhhh
Punch the snake in the face!
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Post by Koopario on Apr 1, 2019 13:25:21 GMT -5
Duck. Don't even move, just. Duck.
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Post by Sable-Xeno on Apr 1, 2019 14:09:08 GMT -5
Your first action among your vast abilities is...to duck. The snake watches you, questioningly. As you duck, you decide you might as well be called...Blunder...Boy? That's not the title of the game, but okay. You wonder, boy, for a minute about whether to toss a skull onto your had, or the snake's. It hardly matters, really, since there are two skulls here. Sooooo, you decide to throw one onto both of your heads, each. Now you're both wearing skulls, I guess. With the skull firmly in place, you now decide to punch the snake. Punch the snake? Well, I suppose now that he's maybe stunned...oh. In the face. You just put a skull there, are you quite certain that's where you punch?...Alright, then. You punch him in the face. With your hand. Amazingly, or perhaps unsurprisingly for you, you manage to both shatter the skull on the snake, and the snake's skull, defeating both with ease. So, time to move on!  Further on in the hallway, you come to an impasse. On one route is a blue snake, and on the other...nothing. The blue snake stares at you, questioning your life decisions even more strongly than the green one. You sense that maybe means he's stronger overall. Which way do you go, and what do you do?
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Post by Dimitri on Apr 1, 2019 14:11:16 GMT -5
Punch the blue snake! Twice!
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Post by Asphoxia on Apr 1, 2019 14:12:50 GMT -5
Question your life decisions.
-Reix
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Post by Sable-Xeno on Apr 1, 2019 14:30:34 GMT -5
You attempt to punch this blue snake, but the strength of one punch is not enough...you need the power of another on your side! Winding up all the strength that you have, you punch the snake for a second time, felling it instantly as it questions its life choices. You also question your life choices...and duck. I do not understand why the idea of ducking is so appealing to you, but I suppose I'm not one to judge. Since you made it all the way up there, you might as well travel the upwards path, yes?  Now you come to a new enemy...a Cyclops! He marches forwards towards you, unrelenting. What will you do? |
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Post by Asphoxia on Apr 1, 2019 14:34:16 GMT -5
Invite the cyclops to tea
-Reix
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Post by Planetbox on Apr 1, 2019 14:55:08 GMT -5
Pour that blue potion into his eye. Hope it's dish soap or something.
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Post by Dimitri on Apr 1, 2019 15:03:07 GMT -5
Punch the blue potion.
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Post by Sable-Xeno on Apr 1, 2019 15:12:06 GMT -5
 Perhaps if the Cyclops is so inclined, he might enjoy some tea? So, using your ultra-fast reflexes, you set up a tea table faster than the eye can see. The Cyclops is so impressed that he sits down for a cup. Now's your chance, you think! You duck. ... And then you Shoryuken your blue potion into the Cyclop's eye! It's a blue potion, so it heals, him, but there's also glass shards everywhere so it kinda hurts, too. It's a perpetual loop of pain! To save on time, you make a mental note to do this for every cyclops you encounter. But maybe not with the potion, too. Because you have none now.  You come to another branch in the path. This time, there's a fireboy spitting fire out fire on the path below, and another red orc approaching from the hall in front of you. He's not in the picture, but trust me he's there. Which way will you go? |
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Post by Asphoxia on Apr 1, 2019 15:13:29 GMT -5
Go up.
-Reix
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Post by Planetbox on Apr 1, 2019 15:18:52 GMT -5
Refuse to believe in the red orc
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Post by Sable-Xeno on Apr 1, 2019 15:37:36 GMT -5
You decide that up's a good path to go, because...up! Sadly, there's a ceiling there, so you can't actually go up. You sure do try, though! Just look at how hard you're ducking to go up. In your efforts to go up, you end up not even noticing the orc in the hallway so hard that it literally fades out of existence. I...don't really know what that feels like, to be honest. Do you think it was painful?...questions for another day, you suppose. Also you tried to go up so hard that you ended up going down. You do get up again, though, because nobody's ever gonna bring you down. Except for the narration, I suppose.  Now there's two bats! And two pits! Gee, I wonder which one you should go down? Why DOES this castle have so many of these, anyways? |
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Post by Asphoxia on Apr 1, 2019 15:47:32 GMT -5
Try fighting the bats!
-Reix
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Post by Planetbox on Apr 1, 2019 15:58:49 GMT -5
"Blunderboy, I don't feel so good." --Red Orc
See if you can trick the bats into crashing into each other
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Post by Sable-Xeno on Apr 1, 2019 16:07:02 GMT -5
You decide fighting the bats would be a good idea. You decide a good way to beat them would be by ducking. Since you're now suddenly lower on to the ground than they expected, they accidentally collide with themselves instead, exploding in a flurry of smoke. With that out of the way, you decide to go down the left path, because noody suggested which way to go and because it's faster that way.  Now, you find yourself with another branching path. The left one seems to lead further into the castle, with the hallway being guarded by a number of orcs. The right one leads to a headless bone dude and a locked door. Which path do you choose? |
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Post by Planetbox on Apr 1, 2019 16:10:10 GMT -5
Give your head to the headless bone dude
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Post by Asphoxia on Apr 1, 2019 16:15:33 GMT -5
Give the headless bone dude a guide on how to get ahead in life. That's close enough right?
-Reix
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Post by Dimitri on Apr 1, 2019 16:19:10 GMT -5
Give the headless bone dude a fresh new pair of sunglasses. The irony will make him explode, surely
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Post by Sable-Xeno on Apr 1, 2019 16:38:23 GMT -5
You probably can't detach your head entirely...I mean, you probably can, but we're having none of that here. That's just a bit too much for me to handle writing. We can compromise, though. You could give him your skull hat, instead! You feel a bit sad to give away your hat, but you feel it is the right thing to do. You duck, letting the skull slide off your head, as you hand it to the boner boy. Because you're such a cool dude, you also give him a pair of sunglasses, and some good life advice: 'With your skeleton keys, no doors in life are locked to you!  WOW! THANKS, BLUNDER HUMAN! I FEEL LIKE I COULD GO THROUGH ANY DOOR ALREADY! IN FACT, I THINK I'LL START WITH THAT LOCKED DOOR OVER THERE!Look at that! He's so much happier now that he has a head. And sunglasses. So happy, in fact, that he turns around, and doesn't threateningly walk in your direction! Surely he'll have fun opening that locked door, but for now, you have business to attend to. You turn the other way, shoryukening tea into the eye of every Orc you see.  Here it is...the center of the lair of the Dragon. This is your chance! Defeat the Dragon Lord, Brave Blunder Boy!   What will your first action be?Blunder Boy: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Meka Dragon: 100/100 |
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Post by Asphoxia on Apr 1, 2019 16:41:48 GMT -5
...fight....it....??? I mean you're in a boss battle what else can you do?
-Reix
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Post by Dimitri on Apr 1, 2019 16:46:12 GMT -5
Jump off a cliff.
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Post by Planetbox on Apr 1, 2019 16:54:48 GMT -5
That's what I meant by head but whatever
Use your shield wisely
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