#Kun Plays OFF

Poke the water.

"Yes."



The Batter pokes at the edge of the "water" with his bat. The thick liquid makes a distinct "gloop" noise as it is forced to displace itself, sticking to the metal. He makes a face and carefully shakes it off. You are both fairly certain that it's not water.



"I'm not drinking that."

See if you can walk on the not-water, becoming Notjesus, the second in a series of Notcharacters.

"It appears to be plastic."

That would certainly explain the thickness of the liquid, but very little else. For one thing, doesn't plastic usually need to be fairly hot to remain molten?

"Yes."

...Right, moving on.





"I'm not touching that."




Nodding, the Batter tips his cap over his eyes and stylishly moonwalks backwards towards the complex of buildings in the distance. He's very talented, so much so in fact that it almost turns into a moonrun.

Regardless of how you arrive, welcome to ZONE 0.

---

Shortly before you reach the complex, The Batter finds himself stopped in his moontracks by an odd-looking cat which has just strode out from the doorway of the smallest building and sat down in the middle of the pathway. Oddest of all is when it speaks, each word accented by a low purr.


"There cannot be any living beings in zone 0; hence, I deduce that you are a pure figment of my imagination."

The cat pauses for but a moment, licking a paw to smooth down the fur atop his head, as though simply to prove that he can.

"Nevertheless, I will introduce myself. I am the Judge, and I am aching to know your name, dear illusory interlocutor."

"I'm the Batter. I've been intrusted with a sacred mission."

"It is a pleasure, although it was not the body I was addressing, but the many souls that it harbors. What are your names, controllers?"

"Their collective name is #kun. They can't talk to us now."

"However, they can see and hear everything."

The Judge stands up and walks closer to The Batter, casting his gaze around as though to discover any particular location he should be addressing. When he finds none, he merely speaks to empty air as though to be sure that no place in front of him recieves more attention than another.

"Even though you too are but imaginary spectres in my eyes, let it be said that I am delighted to meet you as well, dear #kun."

I believe we need your help.

"Many people are in need of my services, you know. Everybody loves cats."

The Judge delivers this line in a smug manner, moving straight up to The Batter to press against his boots.

"We rub ourselves against their legs and purrrr in a most insistent manner. They adore that."

To his credit, The Batter does his best to gently shake the cat off.

I'm not talking about that kind of help.

"I see - but what sort of service could I offer to these ectoplasmic entities?"

"I have a sacred mission to fufill."

"I must purify the world."

The feline before you laughs in a rather odd manner, sitting down in the middle of the path and settling The Batter with a level stare. You can imagine where he got his name: the cat seems as though he's gazing through your charge (in a metaphorical) sense, appraising the intent of his words as much as the meaning.

"There is no objective more laudable than yours. I accept to serve you as a guide through this area, if it is of any help to you."

"Thanks."

Without another word, and after a long moment to silently groom himself, the Judge rises to his feet and turns to walk back to the complex. The only further acknowledgement you receive before he walks directly up the center wall like Bowie in his Labrynth is a knowing glance, entreating you to follow him up to the roof.





"He seems pleasant."