#Kun Plays Pokemon Red

Phoenix: Cast PSI OBJECTION!!!

C: Answer yes and see what happens. Laugh soullessly if Celio freaks out.

Notshalite: Stop and pause; you need a cup for all these soft drinks! Lament over the fact and ignore the other fact that Cloacky likely has you tied up in a telekinetic straight jacket by this point.

Phoenix: Go with the Pigmask, I guess.

C: Ahhhh...?

Notshalite: Start mumbling about Hamtaro abridged.

With no better options available, you decide to go along with the Pigmasks to the precinct to bring you into questioning. Peridot, restrained, is brought kicking and screaming into the van. Unsurprisingly, the van is quite Pig-shaped...

When the arrive, Phoenix and Maya are brought into two separate rooms, whilst Peridot was brought into a third room in the back, locked in a cage...screaming...

Phoenix is brought into a very plain room, which contains only two chairs, and a very serious-looking table. Sat at the other side of the table is another Pigmask, though this one is wearing mostly green. He starts bombarding Phoenix with questions...

"Who are you? Why are you here? Are you aware you're being followed? Who do you think you're fooling? Did you take anything? Who do you work for? Where were you born? How old are you? What's your favorite color? How many fingers am I holding up? Did you burn down the Department Store? Have you been working with Chronos Krate? Why is your hair so pointy? Do Defense Attorneys normally have such pointy hair? What is your connection to Mia Fey? Did you kill Mia Fey? What is the purpose of the bakemeat? What happened inside that Law Office? Who is 'The Thinker'? Why was Maya's name on that piece of paper? How much are they paying you? How long have you been working for the dairy industry? What was that goblin doing in the Law Office? Were you working with the Goblin? Have you or ever or will work with C? Where is C? Will C sign his autograph for me on a slab of Bakemeat? Are you hiding any Rito? Do you have any interest in purchasing a Happy Box™? What is your relation to Stein? What was in Stein's fridge? Do you know anything about Blue Corp.? Where are the Magypsies? Who is Mr. X? Are you or have you ever been a member of the Rainbow Squirts? What's in the milk? Do you serve the Milkman? What is the Milkman's location? What is the mission of the Milkman? What's the Milkman like? Is he nice in person? Who is the Milkman? We know who's paying you."

The questions go on and on all throughout the night, Phoenix being given barely any chance to answer them. At the end, his name is cleared, and he is allowed to leave. Maya, however, is kept at the precinct longer. Perhaps incriminated, perhaps still under questioning...and Peridot is nowhere to be seen. The sun has started rising by now on the large city of Fuchsia, and Phoenix is too tired to even think straight...

But he could swear a large group of individuals warped quite suddenly in the center of the city, at the same time a Helicopter makes a D.A.R.E.ing landing nearby, and the Wilycopter makes a...largely normal landing. The groups leave said vehicles in no particular order, exchanging loosely-connected words and sentences.


"A word to the wise: never spend a month on a helicopter with a man obsessed with milkshakes...at least without coming prepared."


"I still have nightmares..."


Gladion, in his usual grumpiness, looks towards the group as a whole. "Well, at least we're all here now, just completely peaches and cream. Except, you know, some of pokemon have apparently been shadowed, there's still a missing Type: Null back there, and we have no idea what happened to the giant clock that tried to kill us!"


"...Oh! was Type: Null that dog that Yumemi was using? Yeah, I let her keep it!"

...At this, Gladion gives Steven a good, long stare. "...Why?" "Well," he explains, "That Type: Null needed a good home, someone that cared for him...and I think Yumemi genuinely cared! I don't know how she got him, or where she is now...but I think wherever she is, she's trying to make a change for the better. Besides, we'll probably see her again at some point later on, and if we do...and she's not treating him right...well, I'll be giving her a piece of my mind!" Steven mashes his fists together as he says this, emphasizing his point.

...Gladion gives a subtle smile. "...It's dangerous to be that optimistic, you know." "Yeah, I get that a lot...but it hasn't steered me wrong so far!"

Tikai looks about the area, scanning with her X-Ray vision. "If you people are done with the idle chit-chat, it might be best to stay on the defensive. This place is giving me sone seriously bad vibes..."

Amongst the group that had been warped to Fuchsia City instead of riding a vehicle, Joseph Joestar had taken a short look around the area, trying to stick as close as he could before trying to split up with anyone...when he quite soon spotted someone very familiar, talking with another man.


So...Light Yagami, was it? Tell me...what's up with that book?


"Oh, this? It's nothing much, really. I suppose telling you would pose me no threat, though. This book is called the Death Note, and...well, let's just say it's very handy if there's any individuals that I need to do away with."

The man wearing a hat looks Light dead-on in the eyes. "I get what you're saying. But how fast is it?" (No doubt, it must be a Stand of some sort....but why's this kid just gloating about it?)

"I'm...sorry? How fast is it?" "Let's say, hypothetically, you were being punched really fast. How well would your little book hold up against that?" Light just sighs. "Look, it's...it's fast, alright?" "Faster than my fist?" "...Say, I don't think I got your name earlier, could you give it to me, preferably in full?" "Yare yare daze..."


"Jotaro! It's about time I found you."


"Jotaro...?"

The man named Jotaro turns towards Joseph, giving a stern look. "It's about time you showed up, old man. Where's everyone else?" "Not with me," he explains, "because I was trapped in this...weird...spherical object for too damn long!" "Hmm. Is that the best explanation you've got? Well, I've been searching for them too, I guess, and I haven't seen hide nor hair. Of course, Dio's dead now, so we don't really need to regrou-"


"OH MY GOD!...but how?"

"It wasn't terribly difficult." Jotaro crosses his arms. "That weird lady in a maid outfit and that grey-skinned vampire lady did help, though. But ultimately, he was no match for Star Platinum."

"Star Platinum? Now you have my interest. What would that happen to be?" Light walks closer towards the two conversing JoJos. Joseph puts a hand behind his head, trying to explain, "Well, you see...it's this popular band that's recently-" "Don't bother, gramps. This guy's a stand user, too." "I wouldn't call this a stand..." Light holds up the Death Note. "Rather an incredibly handy tool for doing away with certain people. People that I'm not really fond of. Like criminals."

Joseph rubs his chin. "Hmm...that answer's a refreshing change of pace. How does your book work, exactly?" "I'll tell you...later, maybe. When I feel like I can trust you people a bit better, learn about you some more...see how you operate..."

Anyways, the group is still squarely within the middle of Fuchsia city. It's hard to pinpoint where any single thing is in this city because it's so big, with quite a number of buildings...but this just means you could go just about anywhere to advance the plot! Like the Safari Zone, or the Gym...should probably leave that to C, though. There's also a number of buildings, like the Law Office or the precinct, maybe that huge tower, possibly that big castle-like structure? Just...there's lots of places to go, I guess.
















You tell Celio that you are, in fact, that same trainer, which causes him to have a mini-freak out. You immediately snap him out of it, though, with very forced laughter, and lines like 'I got you really good!'. Celio is not amused. So, you try to earn back some lost brownie points by asking some more details about this other trainer...

"Well, as you might guess, this trainer...Red...his story was pretty similar to yours. But, well, vastly simpler. He certainly went around Kanto, collecting Gym Badges and fighting Team Rocket, but he never had an army bigger than 6 pokemon at a time, he never stopped the moon from crashing on Clock Town, or landed on the Moon, or went to any desert town called Night Vale...none of that stuff. He did branch out into other regions, but that wasn't for quite a few years...he was always looking for the next big challenge, that young man. And all of that happened nearly a decade ago, I'd say."

"He was also a big help with my work, you know. I did have help from Bill for technical know-how every now and then, but I still needed two potent objects to start my system up trans-national. And those were the Ruby and Sapphire. I still have them in my collection, but I've been relying on less stone-based objects to keep my system running. Brigette was a big help for that..."

As far as you, personally, are concerned, none of this seems to mean anything to you, which is reflected in your oddly blank stare...hearing about this trainer Red though, makes you wonder. 'Why are our stories so similar? Was there some connection that we shared? Is...Red my past clone?' Your mind also wanders to how you could get back from these 'Sevii Islands', where Kanto would be relative to here...and where it could have gone...very briefly, you recall something Looker might have said, about Kanto 'disappearing'...

You know now what you have to do. You have to get back. Back to Kanto.

As Celio watches you contemplate, he can't help but feel something nagging at the back of his mind. Something he has to mention now, and not for any one singular person's sake...he clears his throat...

"I suppose you're going to...try to go back there, huh? I can't say I can help, I've tried checking all of the PC systems that would be connected to there from here...but I can tell you one thing, if you do go back there. It was regarding my last contact with Bill. He said...he said that he had someone come in contact with him. A girl, looking for help for her mother. She was very ill...I wasn't told who it was, what the condition was, where they came from...If Bill has truly changed as much as you claim he has, or if he's just another man entirely...then I fear for the sake of that mother and child. Just...see if you can find out if they ended up okay, and...find out what happened to Bill. Please."

...You nod your head in agreement. It takes not a single action to decide on this matter. Though you can still do totally whatever, I just want to move this darn plot along already. You get up out of your bed with little effort I actually forgot if you were in bed in the first place, to the mild alarm of Celio, whom says "Wait!" before you can reach for the door.

"Before you go, I have something for you. It's called a Tri-Color pass. Using this, you'll be allowed to travel by Ferry to One, Two, and Three Island. I don't know if you'll need to travel to the other ones later on or not, but if you do, just come talk with me and I'll get an arrangement set up for you. Getting a pass for all seven requires a bit of paperwork, you see, and I'd rather not fill it out if I need to...or at least have it filled out in advance..."

You try to tell him that he's probably very qualified to give anyone a pass of any damn color if he wants, but you can't submit any actions yet because you're still in a cutscene, dummy! In any case, you leave the room, and walk out of the Pokemon Net Center.

You take in the salty smell of the ocean, ready to tackle your next big objective in life: getting back home. You look to your left, seeing quite the expansive body of water leading up to another landmass. In front of the Net Center is a few buildings, nothing much of importance. Further up is a ferry port, which is oddly shaped like a box with a door in it, and behind there seems to be a small beach. And of course going back into the Net Center to see that huge machine you casually strolled by is an option, too, but not a very conductive one.

What shall you do next?

C: Try to learn how to RUN ON WATER!!

Fuschia Group: Yeah, sure, go to the STOOPID tower.

Out of all the buildings in Fuchsia City, one caught the immediate attention of our increasingly-large amount of both fictional and non-fictional characters (Which, yes, Oshalite, does include Notshalite and Cloacky. Just stating for your benefit.)...


It was a tall tower, stretching far into the sky within the north-eastern edge of town. To someone with a bird-eyes vantage point, it would look more like a giant screw...and below said tower, a vast pit stretched below. It looked to be...bottomless. Of course, surrounding the tower was a catwalk spiraling around to the top...

As the group approaches the tower, Jotaro keeping a close eye on Light, they're stopped by a man in a blue Pig-like outfit. He oinks, standing his ground in front of the catwalk entrance. "Halt, citizens! Entry into this building is for Authorized Personnel, only! Only Pigmasks or other people with a permit may enter!...Now that I think about it, some of you are awfully furry for people..."

Drat. Seems getting close to this tower is the best you can do at the moment. You could always give up and go elsewhere, or figure out a way into the building...



You look towards that beach out past the Ferry station, your attention drawn towards it...you try walking up to the edge of the water, but as you try to walk on it, you find that you can't. In fact, you can't so much as even get your feet into the shallow parts of the shore. You just needlessly bump against the edge of land like there's some dumb invisible wall blocking your way, or something.

It takes you a minute, but you figure out the error of your ways. You were trying to WALK on water...when you should be RUNNING on it!

You dash into a sprint, bounding across the surface of water like it's nothing! Each step you take, a wet slap of victory on the soles of your shoes. The female swimmer swimming nearby is so astounded of this feat, she dares not challenge you to a battle!

When you reach the beach, you find out quickly enough that there's...nothing really here of note. Just a few patches of grass...but maybe there's some junk hidden here? You look down to find you're standing in one of said patches of oh okay then



A wild Tangela leaps out from who-knows-where, and in a panic, you throw a Bakemeat Ball at it in a bit of a panic. It shakes once, twice, three times...Gotcha! You've successfully caught a male Tangela! What shall you name him?

C: Name it Noodle Arms EVERYTHING.

Otherwise I second the rest of Planet's action.

And seeing as the soft drink bit went relatively nowhere...
Cloacky: Slap Notshalite out of his soft-drink obsessed state.
"I still don't have arms! Or hands!"
That hasn't stopped you before.
"I... touché."
by day I go by stan, but by night I--*SLAP*GAH
There we go.
"I can't help but express my utter relief that Notshalite FINALLY stopped that nonsensical babbling..."
"And I can't help but agree with you..."
"So then why didn't you try that before?"
"I mean, looking at recent events I kind of expected to have a can of soda just plop into my hands eventually. Kind of stupid, I know, but it's the truth."
"Such a mindset will only bring trouble, I imagine."
"Please, I know."
Wait but Cloacky don't you not have hands?
"It's an expression, Notshalite..."

Give steven a hug

Whoops! That's supposed to be the note telling you to ask Dick Gumshoe to return her phone to you in the normal game. I was writing off the names of stuff you *can* present to her, not taking into account the fact you get the memo after talking with her. So yeah, you don't actually have Maya's Memo at the moment.

It doesn't take long with following the Monkey for the group to find themselves at a certain destination: a large, rectangular building that wouldn't stand out much otherwise...except for the large pigmask-shaped structure on top of the building, which suitably looked like a pigmask's mask, colored in blue...and topped with a siren.

The monkey pushes the doors inwards, walking inside...

(>'-')> <('-'<) ^(' - ')^ <('-'<) (>'-')> <('-'<) ^(' - ')^ <('-'<) ^(' - ')^ <('-'<) <('-'<) ^(' - ')^ (>'-')>

Talk: Maya
The night of the crime

-Phoenix
Could you tell me about the day of the murder?

-Maya
Yes! Let's see... that morning, I got a call from my sister. She wanted me to hold onto a piece of evidence for an upcoming trial.

-Phoenix
Evidence?

-Maya
Yes. That clock shaped like "The Thinker."

-Phoenix
(The one Larry made...) How could that have been evidence in a case?

-Maya
Um, right, she said something about that...I remember! Do you want to hear it in her own voice?

-Phoenix
H-her own voice!?

-Maya
Yes. I'm pretty sure our conversation is on my cell phone.

-Phoenix
You recorded it!

-Maya
Yeah! I forgot how to delete those things.

Phoenix tries to present Maya's memo to Maya, but because he's tired...he forgets that he doesn't have it yet, and just presents empty air to her.

-Maya
...Are you feeling alright?

-Phoenix
Y-yeah...just tired, is all. (What was I thinking?) Let's talk about something else...

Talk: Maya
Your cell phone

-Phoenix
So, you say you have a conversation with your sister on your cell phone? Let's hear it!

-Maya
Right!...Oh I just remembered: that guy in the blue outfit took my cell phone. Sorry.

-Phoenix
Oh, right. (Of course...) Next time I see him, I'll ask him for it. Actually, I could probably ask for it at the counter...

-Maya
I'll write you a note so you don't forget, okay?

-Phoenix
Sure, thanks. (I'm pretty sure my short-term memory's better than that, though...)

Maya's Memo added to the Court Record.

Present: Maya
Maya's Memo

-Phoenix
I wanted to ask you about your cell phone...

-Maya
That Blue Pigmask took it when they brought me in. I'm...pretty sure that's why I wrote you that memo?

-Phoenix
R-right...(I'm pretty sure my short-term memory's better than that, though...)

Examine: Filing Cabinet

Phoenix walks over towards the filing cabinet, which is gray and made of a cheap-looking metal. In tandem with its boring design, it's un-marked. The Pink Pigmask at the counter oinks in surprise as you approach it.

-Pigmask
Hey! Step away from there! That's private property!

-Phoenix
Why? Are you hiding something?

-Pigmask
Yes! And it's called consumer privacy! Now unless you have a search permit, I'll only ask you nicely once more to step away from the filing cabinet!

-Phoenix
Okay! Okay...(It's probably locked, anyways.)

As Phoenix examines the filing cabinet, a peculiar monkey comes through the doors of the precinct, walking over towards the stack of boxes. He picks one up, carrying it out the door upon his back...

Maya

Talk
Maya
The night of the crime
Your cellphone
Favorite color
Other (please specify)

Present
Attorney's Badge
The Thinker
Glass Shards
Maya's Memo
Receipt

Examine
Reception counter
Filing cabinets
Carpet
Pigmask receptionist
Stack of boxes
Unopened can of soda
Monkey

Move
Can't move (won't move)



You wander around the beach, mashing the A button over and over, checking every little spot that you can...You end up finding two Ultra Balls, two Pearls, one Big Pearl, two Stardusts, one Star Piece, and one person that tells you about this bach, stating that it's called Treasure Beach, and that treasure often washes ashore here, making combing the beach useful. Sadly, no railguns.

Instead of railguns, you'll likely be railroaded by the plot, but I'll let one more action pass before I do. Because I have this sneaking suspicion someone's gonna want to get something out of their system from that last paragraph.

The Fuscis group: Go inside, only to have a dramatic confrontation with Phoenix.

Phoenix: Ask Maya about her favorite color, then show her you Attorney's Badge. Be sure to do this quickly, before you are dramatically confronted!

C: Hitch a ride on the Plot Express.

Well, I see nobody opted to ask Maya about, well, Maya, so...since we're planning on advancing plot, of course those questions and more will be answered!

Talk: Maya
Favorite Color

-Phoenix
So...Maya?

-Maya
Yes?

-Phoenix
...What's your favorite color?

-Maya
Excuse me?

-Phoenix
You know...the color you like the most?

-Maya
That's an odd question to ask all of a sudden...Lavender, I guess?

-Phoenix
You don't sound very sure about that.

-Maya
Well, excuse me for not being prepared for that question, Mr. Lawyer!

-Phoenix
I thought with all those questions they were giving earlier, you'd be prepared for any question!

-Maya
That's...different, okay? Those were questions about...Mia...

-Phoenix
Oh...(That got uncomfortable fast. Why would I even be asking about favorite colors at a time like this?)

Maya's Profile updated in the Case File!

Present: Attorney's Badge
-Maya
Sorry... I've never seen that before.

-Phoenix
Oh...(Huh. Now I have this weird urge to spray stuff with Luminol...)

Talk: Maya
Maya

-Phoenix
There's something I've been wanting to ask you...

-Maya
Yes?

-Phoenix
What's with that outfit?

-Maya
Oh, this? This is what all acolytes wear. It's my uniform, you could say.

-Phoenix
A-acolytes? Like people in religious training? What is it you do?

-Maya
Oh! It's nothing strange, really! I'm a spirit medium...In training.

-Phoenix
A s-spirit medium!? (I'm pretty sure that qualifies as strange.)

Talk: Maya
Spirit Mediums

-Phoenix
So you're an acolyte. A, er, medium-in-training.

-Maya
That's right. The Fey family, especially the women, have always been very sensitive to the spirit world.

-Phoenix
Wait a second, you said the "Fey Family"? So, Mia was into this stuff too?

-Maya
Of course! She left the mountain to "follow her career," she said. Her powers were first-class, too!

-Phoenix
(I... I had no idea.)

-Phoenix
Hmm...Wait...!

-Maya
What?

-Phoenix
So, you're a real, honest-to-goodness spirit medium? With E.S.P. and all that?

-Maya
Yes...In training.

-Phoenix
Well, can't you contact Mia's spirit, then? We can just ask her who killed her!

-Maya
...! I-I'm sorry...I'm still in training. I couldn't do something on that level...

-Phoenix
(Hmm... I thought that would be too easy.)

Phoenix considered carefully what Maya had told him. He had faith that Maya had no reason to lie about what happened to Mia...which brought into question what she could have meant by a cat earlier. But there was just one thing...

-Phoenix
Maya. I have faith that you didn't murder Mia, but...call it a hunch...I don't think this supposed 'gremling' is automatically guilty as a result. But something doesn't add up. Peridot...she was terrified of something. The way they acted when I found her...there had to be a reason. I have to ask them some questions...do you know where they took her?

-Maya
I...I don't know. Any time I brought her up while in questioning, I was told she was 'being taken care of'...whatever that means.

-Phoenix
...She? I...Well, I wasn't aware-

-Maya
Truth be told, neither was I!

-Phoenix
I see. That should...come in handy. Probably.

-Maya
Listen...Mr. Lawyer...

-Phoenix
Hmm?

-Maya
I hope you find out what really happened with Mia, and clear this mess up. Okay? Because, I...I believe in you!

-Phoenix
Whoah, kind of...excited there all of a sudden, aren't you?

-Maya
...Huh. You're right! I think it might be something in the air, as if...something exciting's about to happe-

-???


The doors to the Precinct burst open, as a man in a tan jacket holding no suitcase walked in, staring straight towards the Monkey holding a box over his back. He presented a pokeball-looking badge towards...well, not towards anyone in particular.

-Looker
This is Looker of the International Police! We have reason to suspect this place of shady dealings based on the delivering of packages originating from this building!

-Pigmask
...What, the Monkey? We have a permit for that, you know. Now quit making so much noise, I'm trying to watch my favorite HB show! Alright...crack, crack, crack the egg into the bowl...M.I.X. the flour into the bowl...

-Looker
Permit or not, I would still like to ask some questions. You there! With the pointy hair!

-Phoenix
H-huh? Me?

-Looker
Yes, you! Do you work at this facility?

-Phoenix
No...No, I don't.

-Looker
I see...of course! These men in pig costumes...the ones at the tower, the ones here in this building...there has to be a connection!

-Phoenix
Uhm...wait a minute! I think I have some questions. (A lot of questions, more like it...)

Looker

Talk
International Police
Monkey
The extremely large group of people gathered around
Favorite color
Other (please specify)

Present
Attorney's Badge
The Thinker
Glass Shards
Maya's Memo
Receipt
Maya's Profile
Peridot's Profile
Pigmask's Profile
Looker's Profile

Examine
Reception counter
Filing cabinets
Carpet
Pigmask receptionist
Stack of boxes
Unopened can of soda
Monkey

Move
You can't! The cutscene is already playing!



You try to have oh curd Noodle EVERYTHING launch you back into the plot, but you can't seem to remotely withdraw him from the PC. So instead, you use your trebuchet made out of volcano bakemeat to launch you there instead!

If you need an idea of the trajectory, fear not! For I have drawn out a chart. Of sorts.



...The curving part is up to debate, maybe it was just angled awkwardly, but you do end up landing on that beach over there. You can see a large mountain on the coast past the valley standing before you. Of course, there must be plot there, but you can barely take a few steps before you are approached by a glowing, floating jellyfist!



??? approaches!

Phoenix: Get da MEMES outta the way, then go check out that can of soda. See if there's a clue inside!

C: Draw a chart demonstrating the trajectory of your fist to the ???'s face.