#Kun Plays Pokemon Red

Die and come back as a snake and proceed to not die.

with Stein dashing towards you, you decide your best course of action is to stun him momentarily by tossing some Paint Thinner at his eyes. He tries blocking the paint thinner with his arm, offering you enough of a distraction to swing at his face with the person-shaped statue, knocking him against the opposite wall...which he lands against with his feet, and jumps off of, propelling himself right back towards you. He swings his scythe as he reaches you, and...your head falls off with little resistance.


"...That ended rather suddenly. Except...I was aiming for your arm, not your-"

No sooner does he say that does a snake's head pop out of your body. Green skin, your beautiful grey eyes...You'd say if this was a snake version of yourself, it'd be pretty spot-on. You slither out of your now shedded human skin, bringing your clothes along with you as you reveal your full Naga glory to the whole world. And when you do, you have but three words to utter.

"@everyone. Is. @here."

Suddenly, Mario comes up from behind Stein, knocking him over with a dash-kick, leading up into an uppercut. Donkey Kong jumps up above him, giving him a banana slamma and slamming him back down into the ground with his fists, where Link waits with a jump slash. Stein goes flying, only to be caught by Samus' charge shot and sent flying in the opposite direction...straight into an egg launched by Yoshi. This knocks him back enough where Kirby can suck him in, and spit him out in the opposite direction, straight into a well-timed upwards kick by Fox. Stein is sent flying straight up...and then straight down, as he's caught by Pikachu's Thunder, launched back down and against him into Luigi, who solemnly kicks him straight down from a platform above back down, where he gets caught on a PK Flash by Ness. He zooms across the room, ricochets off a few walls and the ceiling, before being struck by a Falcon Punch, courtesy of Captain Falcon himself. He flies off, and only makes a turn of direction when Jigglypuff rests atop him, where he goes flying straight up into a simultaneous butt attack by both Peach and Daisy. Flying up more, he bounces off the ceiling and into Bowser's fist, where he gets launched vertically and flies into a double hammer smash by Popo and Nana. He's launched once again, as Sheik Bouncing Fish's into his side, and as Zelda hits him in mid-air with a well-placed magical kick. He's launched downwards, into a tornado; a Dr. Mario Tornado! He gets launched up as Pichu Skull Bashes him in the side, wherein he gets launched into a sudden downwards kick by Falco. Careening downwards, he meets the charged force of both Marth's and Lucina's blades, flying diagonally up into the reach of Young Link, whom stabs downwards from midair and brings him down to Ganondorf, the warlock launching him back up with an explosive kick. He's launched at just the right height for Mewtwo to shoot a Shadow Ball at him, which he ricochets against and flies face-first into a fully-powered, very explosive sword attack by Roy. He flies up, only to be hit by a bucked of oil courtesy of one Mr. Game and Watch. Metaknight appears from the shadows, landing a precise blow and sending Stein into the reach of two arrows sent off by Pit and Dark Pit. He bounces off the arrows, a wall, and a ceiling, getting caught by Zero Suit Samus' laser whip. He's launched against the ceiling, falling back down...and gets launched again, now due to Wario's horrible flatulence. But before he does, Snake manages to sneak a remote-controlled bomb onto him, which he activates soon after the waft. This sends Stein careening straight into a fully-charged sword strike by Ike, and subsequently into a waterfall thanks to one Squirtle. Conveniently, Ivysaur is nearby, ready to blast Stein with the power of...whatever his Charge-up was, I guess, and into a sneaky Flare Blitz by Charizard. He goes flying to the right, and up into a peanut launched by Diddy Kong, knocking him juuust enough to be hit by Lucas's PK Freeze, freezing him solid. Sonic says Stein's too slow. Stein's close to the ground, King Dedede hits him with a fully charged jet hammer, launching him all the way to Olimar, who whacks him with a purple pikmin. He's sent flying by the blow, and into an Aura Sphere sent by Lucario, which knocks him into a gyrosphere launched by R.O.B. A bomb thrown by Toon Link is sent into the mix, which blasts him all the way down to Wolf, who dashes towards him with great speed. This sends him flying again, at least as long as it takes for Villager to catch him with his net and throw him up into the air, and into a Metal Blade launched by Megaman. Everyone takes a 5-minute break to stretch their arms and legs. Wii Fit Trainer then launches Stein away and into the reach of a Luma, charging at him thanks to the aid of Rosalina. He's knocked down to the side and straight into a fiercely-delivered K.O. Punch by Little Mac, knocking him up and away for Greninja to teleport behind him and, with no hard feelings, kick him straight in the back. He's sent back down to the floor, where Miis of Phox, Dimitri, Reggie, Koop, Planet, Osh, and various other CYOA postersbeat him up for a few minutes. Eventually one of them hits him hard enough to send him careening to a heavenly pillar of light raised by Palutena, against the ceiling, and into the hungry maw of Pac-man. He's launched up, straight into a Thoron launched by Robin, and is sent flying as Shulk lands a clean Back Slash to back up Robin. He soon meets a pointy fork boi shoved up by Bowser Jr., as well as an exploding can boi kicked up by the Duck Hunt duo. This brings him way up, and then way down, to Ryu, who Shoryuken's him into a Finisher by Cloud, launching him up and down yet again into the ready claw of Corrin, whom launches a sphere of water at him. The blow, along with the subsequent claw slash, sends him around to Bayonetta, who morphs her hair into a giant fist launching him to the side, the perfect angle for the Inkling to throw some Ink Grenades straight at him. He richochets off several walls and the ceiling a few times, before landing abruptly in front of Ridley, who delivers a deadly tail blow, stunning him for a few moments...and then

WALUIGI COMES ALONG, STOMPING HIM INTO THE GROUND WITH A WELL-PLACED, DECISIVE, THOSE OTHER VARIOUS ADJECTIVES THAT WERE USED KICK TO THE FACE. AND THEN HE WHACKS HIM WITH HIS TENNIS RACKET, LAUNCHING HIM FAR AND AWAY, AND BEATING HIM INSTANTLY.



HE DOES THIS BECAUSE UNLIKE THESE OTHER CRUMMY FIGHTERS, WALUIGI IS THE BEST. AND OLNY THE BEST CAN DO SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS BREAK THESE STUPID WALLS. WHY ARE THEY YELLOW ANYWAY? NOT TO DISS YELLOW, BUT WALUIGI THINKS YELLOW LOOKS BETTER WITH PURPLE, THE BEST COLOR. AT LEAST THEY'RE NOT GREEN. GREEN IS THE WORST COLOR BY FAR.

You can't really help but keep your eyes glued to this chaotic scene unraveling in front of you, but that plant you've been holding onto this entire time knocks you out of your stupor.

"Mmmmh...is that blood that I smell? Please...feed me! Feed me!"

There's probably something you could do here, but...I'm not gonna act like this isn't heading in a pretty obvious direction or anything.

The first thing Nemesis does upon arriving abruptly to this scene is turn her attention to Waluigi, sporting a straight face, and saying...

"You know...that's kind of racist."

RACIST? WALUIGI DOESN'T DISCRIMINATE PEOPLE BY THE SHAPE OF THEIR NOSE OR THE COLOR OF THEIR SKIN. HE ONLY DISCRIMINATES PEOPLE BY WHETHER THEY'RE WALUIGI OR NOT. IF THEY'RE WALUIGI, THEY'RE THE BEST, AND IF THEY'RE NOT, THEN THEY'RE CHEATERS! EXCEPT WARIO. WARIO'S PRETTY COOL.

"Be that philosophy as it may, you insult me for being an Elphe by saying my hair color 'sucks'."

HAIR COLOR IS DIFFERENT. NOBODY CAN CHOOSE THE COLOR OF THEIR BODIES, AND EVEN WALUIGI WOULD THINK IT WEIRD TO BE 100% BIOLOGICALLY PURPLE. WALUIGI SIMPLY THINKS THAT INTENTIONALLY CHOOSING TO DECORATE OR DRESS ALMOST ENTIRELY IN GREEN IS A TERRIBLE IDEA, BECAUSE WALUIGI HATES THE COLOR GREEN. YOU'LL NEVER CATCH HIM DEAD WEARING GREEN.

"Now, you say you give people a free pass if they're born with a certain hair color, yet you say you don't like when people like the color green simply because you hate it, and for no other reason. If I'm correct, then you're still discriminating against color...not even a person's color in particular, just the color."

YES.

"And you really have no reason to hate the color green? You just...hate it?"

...WALUIGI HATES GREEN BECAUSE WALUIGI HATES LUIGI.

"Oh, well now this is just a personal problem. Look, I'm a Revolutionary, not a Psychologist, so...maybe you should get your issues sorted out. Because you wouldn't want to go down the road of this guy."

As Nemesis says that last bit, she turns around and aims her revolver at Stein, who's dragged himself halfway towards where C is standing...or...rather...sitting? What do you even call a snake being stationary? Snaking?...no, that means something entirely different.


"Well...I could never guess the exact cause, but I figured this would be the result."



"Hey, mother, right now I am aiming the muzzle of my gun at a man, a son of a bitch who ruined many people. He kidnapped people, tortured them with experiments, and used them as weapons. Frank Stein, I offer you a choice. Either I shoot you in the head...or..." Noticing a significant lack of fire in the area, Nemesis picks up on a nearby plant's bloodlust, and nods her head towards it. "...you get fed to that plant." "Feed me! Feed me!", it proclaims with joy.

Stein...he nods his head, chuckling...and breaking out into full laughter. He regains his composure as he speaks...

"It doesn't matter what choice I make...I already chose death the moment I engaged C. But he said it was all worth it...the last of his legacy, within our reach. And now-"

bang. The sound of the gun echoes throughout the room. You snake in awe for a bit, taken back by how...quick that whole exchange ended. You then feed Stein to Audrey II anyways, because fuck that guy. Audrey II lets out a satisfying burp.

"Well done, well done!", another voice you've never heard before says to you...one that seems to come from all around you. "That was significantly faster than it was back on Terramort. I'm pleased by how you've grown, in both sense of strength and creativity. But enough about that, I say. This dream's almost over, and I didn't drag you in here to see you flounder around in an art exhibit all midday. T'was fun, though..."

Suddenly, you feel...grabbed, on all sides, as you're picked up by an invisible force. And then...the room around you dashes away, along with everyone in there. Or maybe...you were dragged at such a speed that you couldn't even feel yourself move? Empty, black space is all you can fee in your vision, until you see two double-doors zoom up towards your face, getting bigger, as they open up to reveal-

(>'-')> <('-'<) ^(' - ')^ <('-'<) (>'-')> <('-'<) ^(' - ')^ <('-'<) ^(' - ')^ <('-'<) <('-'<) ^(' - ')^ (>'-')>


"So, we were standing there, me, Nemesis and Waluigi, trying to think to ourselves, 'Well, now what do we do? We're stuck in a virtual box in dream space, with no way in, and equally no way out. So then Waluigi, in his usual self-serving vocabulary, tells us 'Well, my dear non-Waluigi friends, we have to get ourselves out of this pickle!" So I point to these 64-something other people just sitting around in the room going 'Well, maybe they know a way out?" And then, poof! They just kind of disappear in this blinding light. Nemesis is just completely neutral to this whole situation, and doesn't really offer any wise words of wisdom. So I say to Waluigi, 'Well, this is a dream, right? So maybe you need to pinch yourself, or something'...and the jerk slaps me, square in the face! Next moment, I'm up in my bed, just questioning the absolute absurdity of this dream."

"Now, I don't know who this Waluigi fellow is, but I intend to give a piece of my mind if we meet again...and a piece of my hand!"

(>'-')> <('-'<) ^(' - ')^ <('-'<) (>'-')> <('-'<) ^(' - ')^ <('-'<) ^(' - ')^ <('-'<) <('-'<) ^(' - ')^ (>'-')>

-the inside of a large wooden mansion with two doors on the opposite wall. In front of you is a large stairway, leading to the second floor of the mansion, a deck on which there's another set of double doors...and a figure standing menacingly at the top. You can't quite make his face out, though. But standing next to him...is Monika! You have a hard time seeing her, too, but you can tell it's her.



"Dear Crimson...how good it is to see you here. I gotta say, I've been eagerly anticipating this meeting...I'm sure you have a lot of questions, and I have a lot of answers..."

who

Photoshop the black gradient off the guy's face

Sensory overload actually has to do with your senses being too powerful and sensitive, did you seriously not know that? I mean on one hand, I can't blame you for not knowing that. On the other hand, I can blame you for a lot of other things, and on the secret third hand, don't think I won't perform an exorcism. I'm already PLANNING to perform an exorcism. Clauren, you can go watch a movie about Butterscotch Cucumber.

Anyways, C: be a naga again, and go back to Ib mechanics. Also, debate on the cuteness of porcelain bunnies.

"You know, I believe that bit about sensory overload, I really do...after all, if you gave somene the ability to read minds, but the inability to control it, the sounds of so many thoughts would drive them mad. And by all rights, I should be absolutely bombarded by the smell...there's just one tiny detail. Two, technically. I'm not completely human at the moment, in the same way that Crimson here isn't. After all, he's had this odor wafting over him this entire time. If anyone should have collapsed or had a migraine, it should be him. But that kind of ability to block something out - and for other people, too, might I add - is the reason he has such a tolerance for it. As a Wishmaker, I share the same kind of ability."

He now steps down, in front of Crimson. "Also, I hope we share no hard feelings for what 'Bill' did in his time of power. When that whole thing with that dragon went down, we unfused, and he just let me do...whatever I pleased. He realized a Wishmaker being in close proximity to one person would have a srtonger version of the effect of you developing personality from other people's actions. It kind of did...but, truth be told, I was always into the whole 'Chaos of Anarchy' thing. Just not the whole...leader position."

"He takes out a slip of paper, signing it for you as simply 'Claude'. He sees that you're a Naga now, but he just lets out a sigh. 'You know what? I see the silliness of my attempt to limit you. You can be whatever you want to be."

"Can we maybe talk about Porcelain Bunnies?", you ask, and you're met with a "Sure! In fact, we can use them as examples in the next part of our conversation. Now, let's imagine that Bill had a collection of...uhm...actually, you know what? This isn't going to work. I can tell it'd sound worse put like that. But we can definitely talk about them in a bit, I just want to get this off my chest."

"Crimson...I've seen your exploits through Bill's eyes. But I don't carry the resentment for you that he did, or your companions. As you can see, even your friend Monika is here, safe and unharmed...I just wanted to talk with her for a bit, but she said she just wanted to watch for a while. So I can ask you this...I love the chaos and anarchy that you sweep through Kanto, with every logic-defying action you take. And you're already in command of so many figments of your own. So I wonder if you'd want to put mine to use. Bill left the equation, and with that his leadership. And I don't want to bother doing anything myself. I much prefer seeing the action. So while I have arranged for someone to take charge proper in his place...I wanted to ask you if you'd want to, instead. This world would bend to your whim...and you could rule it, just as I'm sure you've wanted to in the past. Or do whatever you usually do in positions of power. Host Uno tournaments, tea parties, put on broadway shows, play rounds of Smash, outlaw all Steamed Hams memes...I couldn't care less what you do, but I want you to get wild and weird with it!"

"So...what do you say?"

Pull off his mask

"You know, Koop...there are two kinds of people in this world."

"Well, don't feel so hard on yourself. At least you trust me willingly, unlike these other voices...which I'm sure Crimson is processing as we speak. Or...hearing. By the way, it might interest you to know I have a special ability Bill endowed himself with when he caught wind of CODA. He'd probably be willing to keep it a secret up until the last moment, but I know we're never going to meet...and plus, it'd make things a little more fair for Crimson. Shall I tell you a little bit about my Stand?"

"Oh, well, if you insist. It's a stand by the name of Lumpy Gravy. It's power is simple: it deactivates all Stand abilities within a 50-ft. radius...besides itself, of course. I think you would've had some fun getting around that one, but...you ended up becoming broken anyways! So that was a development."

"Let's be real here, it's Bohemian Rhapsody levels of 'creative'. He was just that kind of person to not fall for cheap shots. I believe he also tried changing his birthmonth to July just so he couldn't get sent to the Meikai. Among other things, of course...I could never tell you if he actually went and did it, though, because I would need to see a birth certificate for proof. And the guy's whole identity just vanished from existence."